


Wanting more

by phoenixrebirth88



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2020-05-01 01:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19164475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixrebirth88/pseuds/phoenixrebirth88
Summary: You’ve loved him for so long, but he was happy with her. At least, you believed he was. When their relationship ends and he seeks comfort with his friends and you, will you finally find the strength to express your feelings to him?ReaderxDuo





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work originally started in freedom of speech. Sadly, I never got to finish it due to the website going down. Let's hope I can reach the end this time around!

“[Name]!”

You turned around, eager to greet the man who had called your name. It had been too long since you had last seen him – a slightly silly thought considering you had last seen him only three days ago. 

“Hello, Duo,” you greeted joyfully.

The trademark grin on his face made your heart soar every time you saw it. You waved in greeting as he approached at a more sedate pace now that you had acknowledged him.

“I’m slightly surprised to see you up and about already,” Duo playfully commented when he reached your side. 

“Just because I do the night shift doesn’t mean that I’m always rolling out of bed an hour before dinnertime. Not all of us are like that, Duo,” you teasingly shot back, lightly jabbing him in the chest. You never needed an excuse to touch him. 

“That’s just proof that you’re as inhuman as Heero,” Duo muttered under his breath with fake suffering. 

You laughed at the adorable pout on Duo’s lips, a pout that grew less profound as the amusement in his eyes grew. 

“Just because you can’t seem to manage to do so, doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t do it,” you admonished playfully. 

You started walking again, your eyes glued to the grocery list in your hand. The shop was only open in the morning and early afternoon, leaving you with little time to get everything you needed. It was also the reason why you were already up and about. Unless you wanted to starve or live on take-away - because you sure as hell weren’t kidding when you claimed to have an empty fridge and cupboards - there was no other option than crawling out of bed and go shopping at a too early hour in the afternoon. 

Duo fell in pace, something you realized after having changed aisles twice already. The sweetness of that behavior conjured a fond smile upon your lips. He reminded you of a cute, little puppy that followed some random stranger just because that person was in possession of food. 

“How have you been these last … Three days?” you questioned, cocking your head slightly as you stopped and stared at the different types of pasta in front of you. 

Duo shrugged in answer.

“Same as always. You?” 

Duo shot another wide grin your way. You hummed in answer, your own smile growing more profound. Your heart soared whenever he smiled at you. It could turn your knees weak and sent your heart racing. Those feelings hadn’t changed over the last two years that you knew Duo, but you lacked the guts to tell Duo how you felt about him. Deep down you knew that things would change drastically if he ever found out. _He_ might be the type of guy that would claim - and desperately try - to remain friends, but you weren’t sure _you_ could deal with that. No matter what anyone said, things always changed. 

You sighed as you grabbed the last thing on your list and went to pay for your groceries. You should really stop thinking this way. It was hard - especially whenever Duo was near - but you needed to remember that he wasn’t _your_ man. The sooner you realized that and moved on, the sooner this pain would go away.

“What’s wrong?” Duo questioned as he started putting your groceries away after strangely having not bought anything.

You blinked, a soft - if not slightly sad - smile lifting your lips. He was simply too kind. You shook your head. Telling him the truth was out of the question. 

“For a moment, I was wondering how I would ever get this all home safely. I guess I forgot how helpful you always are.”

“You forgot?!” 

You laughed as Duo played shocked and shook your head at his antics. 

“Just grab a bag,” you stated with a fond smile, after paying for your groceries. 

“So bossy,” Duo muttered as he took two bags, leaving only one for you to carry. 

“Off course. If I don’t, we might still be standing here by the time the store actually closes.”

“I’d like to see that.”

Duo’s smile was infectious. Your own cheeks hurt slightly from how wide your smile was. 

“Idiot,” you muttered, though you both knew the term was a sign of affection.

“Anything for you, [Name].”

The way he said it made you forget - if only for a small moment in time - that he was off-limits. He already had a serious relationship. Your smile slowly lost some of its brilliance, but Duo thankfully didn’t notice yet. 

It could be so easy to envision this being a daily routine. You sighed. Even though he wasn’t the type to drop you as a friend if he ever found it, you feared losing his friendship too much to risk it for an impossible dream.

“You’re daydreaming again, [Name].”

Duo’s amused voice made you focus on the hot man beside you. You blushed a little when you realized those slightly too intense - and more than a little amused - eyes were locked with your own. You quickly blinked and looked away, only to realize that you were standing in front of your apartment building. 

“How long have we been standing here?” you questioned bewildered. 

“About five minutes.”

Duo’s tone was slightly careless and you automatically shot him a sharp look. Was he telling the truth? 

“Just kidding, babe. We’ve just reached it. But considering you didn’t make a move …”

“Yeah. Yeah,” you muttered with a deep sigh. 

Duo always had that kind of effect on you. You would simply forget where you were and what you were doing if you allowed his presence to distract you hard enough. After finding your keys in the labyrinth called your purse, you unlocked the door and let him inside.

“Just put the groceries in the kitchen.”

“Okay.”

“Want something to drink?” you questioned as you began unloading your own bag. 

“A beer would be great.”

You chuckled as Duo was already opening the fridge when he said that, the object of his desire all too soon in his hand. 

“Really, Duo. Don’t you have any manners?” you questioned, exasperated with his antics. 

“No.”

You playfully rolled your eyes. Duo shot you another big smile, took one big gulp from his beer, and then grabbed a chair from the kitchen table which he turned around so he could straddle it. When he faced you again, that adorable smile of his once more made your heart skip a beat. It felt good - sinfully good even - to have his gaze on you as you started on the bags Duo had carried home for you. 

You finally turned to him when you finished, only to get lost in those gorgeous, expressional eyes. It was one of the reasons you loved him. His eyes would always tell you what he was thinking. That and they always held a certain sparkle that you seemed strangely drawn to. Today, however, that usual sparkle wasn’t as bright and his eyes seemed slightly dull. Something was obviously bothering him. 

“If there’s something on your mind, you can just say it.”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

“I’ve known you for two years already, Duo. I think I know you well enough to know when something’s bothering you.”

“Well,” Duo began, only to trail off in a nervous manner. He wasn’t usually this hesitant towards you. It made you feel even more worried than you already were. 

“What’s wrong, Duo?”

Duo looked at you for all of two seconds, then stared at his beer with a dark look – almost scowling at the poor bottle even.

“Nothing,” he muttered.

“Don’t lie to me,” you gently scolded him. 

“Hey! I run and hide, but I don’t lie.”

Great. You had offended him. It hadn’t been your intention. You sighed, pained by the fact that Duo refused to talk to you about it. 

“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered and looked to the ground. 

“Don’t be like that …,” Duo softly stated as he stood up, approached, and gently grabbed your chin. He forced you to look him in the eyes. “Just because I’m not ready to tell you yet, doesn’t mean you aren’t important enough to know.”

Damn. There were times like these that you truly hated how well Duo also knew you. 

“I didn’t mean to …”

“I know.”

Duo hugged you close. It was obvious in the way he held you that something was still bothering him, but you dared not press it any further. You longed for the hug to last, but you also knew it was best to pull back as quickly as you could - unless you wanted to give yourself even more heartache in the long run. 

“Duo,” you called out as the man retrieved the beer he had placed on the kitchen table. “Whenever you do wanna talk …”

Duo’s lips twitched upwards. It may not have been his usual bright smile, but it brought your heart some relief. 

“I know,” he said as he ruffled your hair in a playful manner. 

“Hey!” 

Duo laughed when you tried to restore order to your hair and your heart once more squeezed almost painfully as it reminded you of what it wanted. 

“Sorry,” Duo stated with a wink. 

You rolled your eyes, but you knew that it was moments like these that made you wonder if you really couldn’t ask for more.


	2. chapter 2

“You in there, Heero?” you questioned as you knocked on your neighbor’s door.

“It’s open.”

You sighed, shook your head, and entered the apartment. Heero never bothered calling out to you. He obviously had company today. The spotless apartment didn’t even faze you anymore – three years of staring at pristine walls and floors could numb you to it – but you did still itch to spill something and see how the guy would react. 

“What are you guys doing and should I be wary?” you muttered the greeting as you warily eyed Heero and his guest. 

Duo lazily shrugged, his too innocent smile belying that you should indeed be wary. Your gaze dipped to the pink envelope tightly clutched in Heero’s grip, an eyebrow slowly raising in question at the foul scowl on your neighbor’s face. 

“Nothing to be wary about, [Name],” Duo greeted. Another shrug followed, but you could feel the tension in the air. Something was definitely amiss here. “Heero over here is simply invited to one of Quatre and Relena’s balls. Me and Hilde already said we’d go, but …”

You swallowed down your first reaction, quickly painting on a pleased smile as you focused on the message and not the people.

“But?” you pushed, a quick glance at Heero verifying that the man was still glaring daggers at the pink envelope. 

“But ‘Ro doesn’t want to go.” The sudden light in those mischievous eyes didn’t bode well. “I’m trying to convince him to come. It’s been ages since we’ve all been together again and actually seen Quatre or Relena in the flesh.”

“Hn.”

“But this guy’s being too stubborn for his own good,” Duo grumbled unhappily, a jerking movement of his right hand in Heero’s direction.

“Well …,” you began uncertainly. Heero’s rigid form and the nearly crushed invitation spoke volumes about Heero’s unwillingness to participate in the upcoming event. You briefly worried your lower lip, before you plunged onwards. “Why don’t you want to go, Heero?”

“Relena’s there,” Heero answered in a monotone way. 

“Eum … I thought she and Quatre were a happy couple,” you mused absentmindedly, reading the obvious unhappiness in Heero’s eyes and remembering that Relena had tried to chase after Heero once upon a time.

“They are,” Duo supplied.

“Then I don’t understand what the problem is.”

“Because,” Heero growled as he finally gazed at you with a hopeless look in those blue eyes. You froze, uncertain of what it meant. “She wants to find me a date.”

It wasn’t supposed to be funny, but you almost did laugh. The look in Heero’s eyes, the sheer suffering vibe that hung around him – it was all too much. Heero quickly caught on to your efforts and shot you a cold glare.

“It’s not funny,” he growled as he shot you a warning look.

“Off course it isn’t,” you quickly agreed in the hopes of keeping your good neighborly relationship intact. “Just tell her that you’re not interested, Heero. It’s not that hard.”

“Hn.”

“Am I failing to grasp something here?” you questioned with a quick look at Duo.

“He tried that already and it backfired on him,” Duo explained.

“How so?”

“You don’t want to know,” Heero growled and you wisely dropped the subject.

“Then don’t go,” you shrugged.

“He can’t do that!” Duo exclaimed in a surprisingly panicking voice.

“Why not?” you once more questioned, honestly confused as to his reaction.

“Because if Heero isn’t there, Relena and Hilde will be breathing down _my_ neck about when the wedding will finally take place!”

Wedding? Why did the image of Duo marrying Hilde hurt so much?! 

“Wedding?! I … I didn’t know you and –”

“We’re not!” Duo heatedly stated, the conviction giving him a hard look. 

In that very moment, Duo looked like a completely different man. You had never seen him so invigorated. 

“I’m … confused,” you whispered.

“Hilde’s been pressuring me into asking her for her hand. She wants to marry me, but I’m not sure if …,” he trailed off, leaving it hanging in the air.

“Oh.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. What could anyone really say to it? You sighed and looked at the floor in an effort to avoid both Duo’s and Heero’s gaze. 

“So you’ve got to come, Heero. Please!” Duo pleaded with his best friend.

“And let their attention befall on setting me up with another failed excuse of a date? No, thank you!”

“Please, Heero!” Duo continued begging – even throwing in the puppy dog eyes. 

“Perhaps …,” you began unsurely, quickly trailing off. You really hoped that this wasn’t a mistake. “Perhaps I could pretend to be your date,” you offered Heero with an impish grin.

“Hn?”

“What?” Duo exclaimed at the same time, his wide eyes quickly zeroing in on you. 

Heero gave you a pensive look as if he really was thinking it over. 

“It would get them off my back,” Heero muttered thoughtfully.

“You can’t possible think about accepting that offer?!” Duo shouted at Heero and you felt immensely offended. 

“Why not?!” you questioned heatedly as you glared at Duo. 

Where you really that bad of a choice? The nerve he had! 

“No, I … I don’t mean to sound like there’s anything wrong with you, [Name],” Duo quickly – as he realized his mistake and the offensive way his words could be interpreted – began as he raised both hands in a defensive motion. “I’m just trying to say that … Well … They will know that you two aren’t serious! Yeah, that’s it!”

You eyed Duo warily. It sounded like he was convincing himself of that rather than you and Heero. Heero grunted again and you watched him as he stood up and approached you. He then carefully wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer against him. The way he angled his body to yours made you feel as if you were the most precious thing in his world and you couldn’t help but blush. That, in turn, made Heero smirk. 

“Love is a funny thing, Duo. It can happen at any moment,” Heero began as he leaned even closer towards you. His breath ghosted across your neck and evoked a shiver from you. “Even with people who’ve been living next to each other for two years already. Wouldn’t you say, [Name]?” he questioned softly. 

Your eyes widened and the blush on your cheeks deepened. Heero knew of your unrequited crush on his friend – he’d managed to catch you off guard one moment and you’d spilled your secret to him while crying on his shoulder – so you knew he didn’t mean any of it. That, however, didn’t mean that you couldn’t deny your own reactions.

“H-Heero,” you whispered breathlessly.

Duo gaped at you like a fish out of water, his eyes alight with surprise and – dare you hope for it? – jealousy.

“You can’t be serious?!” Duo questioned a little too heatedly. “It’ll never work!”

“Do you think you can manage, [Name]?” Heero questioned, the slight timber in his voice making you think he thought all of this was amusing. 

“I know I can,” you answered him with as much conviction as you could. 

Duo’s expression and words had hurt you deeper than you wanted to admit. He made you feel like you were the worst possible choice anyone could make regarding a love interest and you wanted to show him that you had what it took!

“Then it’s a date,” Heero told you.

“But …,” Duo began.

“You wanted me to come, didn’t you?” Heero questioned Duo as he turned towards said man. 

“Yes! But not –”

“I’m coming. So be happy already.”

“I …,” Duo sighed in defeat and you hated how his shoulders drooped. “Alright. I’ll see you guys there then,” he muttered and – without looking at you even once – made his retreat.

“What’s gotten into him?” you questioned softly, honestly concerned with Duo’s sudden and quite strange behavior. 

“Hn.”

“Heero!” you scolded as the man refused to answer you.

“Hn.”

“Oh, come on already! You’re usually more vocal than this. I swear you can be so –”

“Charming,” he interrupted you before you could say anything else.

All you could do was stare at him as he teased you. This was still unexpected behavior from him, a side of him that Heero didn’t start showing until recently. That, however, didn’t mean that you didn’t like it. You were sure he only allowed this type of behavior around the other guys, so you felt immensely grateful to be included in the small group that really knew him.

“Try annoying,” you scoffed as you stepped away from him and shot him a look – which all packed a lot less heat than you were trying to project.

“I didn’t think I was.” 

“Well, you were. Now how about telling me when this ball is taking place.” 

“Tonight,” Heero deadpanned as he once more sat down.

“What?! But … But I’ve got nothing to wear!” you moaned in desperation.

“You can always go naked,” the guy shrugged. You weren’t sure if he was kidding or not, so you merely stared at him in shock. “I’m sure certain people would appreciate it,” he added with a sly smirk. 

And there we have Duo’s influence … At times like these you really didn’t know if Duo was doing Heero some good or not.

“Urgh! You can be so insufferable sometimes! I swear that Duo’s rubbing off on you. This is something would usually say.” 

And with Heero’s laughter sounding behind you, you beat a hasty retreat to your own apartment in search of something to wear.


	3. Chapter 3

This was the third time you went through your wardrobe and you were quickly becoming both tired and frustrated with your lack of decent clothes. What did people even wear to these kind of events?! You’d never been to a ball before and with no time to prepare, you had nothing decent to wear. 

A sharp rap on your door brought you out of your musing and you quickly went to open the door in the hopes of finding someone who could help you pick out a decent outfit.

“Heero!”

“Here,” the guy merely grunted as he pushed a dress into your hands.

“W-what’s this?” you questioned softly, frowning at the soft material that you now held in your hands.

“A dress,” Heero dryly told you. 

It earned him a glare. 

“I know it’s a dress. I meant, why did you get me a dress? And from where?”

Heero shrugged in answer and left you without a real answer. All he did say was, “Just be sure you’re ready by eight.”

“H-Hey! I never –”

It was too late anyway. Heero had already disappeared into his own apartment again. You stared at the dress with a soft frown, wondering if it would even fit you. The bodice looked so restricting that you feared not being able to breathe once you had it on. 

When you spread the dress out on the bed, you simply stared at its beauty. Who knew that a guy like Heero had such good taste in women’s clothing. It was black silk and the last five inches of the back of the dress would probably reach the floor. A golden waist accentuated your breasts and the same golden fabric then lengthened into the straps – which crossed on your back and left most of your skin bare - that held the dress up.

You were right about it being a little snug around the waist, but it wasn’t bothersome. Not to mention that – as you twirled in front of the mirror – you really loved how the fabric fell around your body. A felt absolutely gorgeous in this! Would Duo be able to keep his eyes of you? 

“Ready?” Heero questioned not five minutes later as he appeared on your doorstep.

“Yes,” you happily told him as you grabbed your purse and locked the door behind you.

“You look beautiful,” Heero told you as he guided you to the elevator. 

“Thank you,” you whispered as you blushed. You let appreciative eyes look him up and down and offered a similar compliment to him. “You look quite stunning as well.”

Of course Heero’s only answer was a smug smirk. 

When you arrived at the ball, you were slightly unprepared for all the riches that sparkled around you. Not to mention that the damn mansion was so big that you most likely would get lost in ten minutes flat. Perhaps you better stick close to Heero – or Duo if Hilde wasn’t clinging to him like glue. That thought made you frown. You would never cling to him as if he was something to show off to the world. No, you’d let him feel special in a much less flashy way.

“Follow your emotions, [Name],” Heero told you just as you two entered the mansion. 

“I … I know. It’s just … It’s not that easy, you know?” you whispered in reply.

“Nothing worthwhile ever is.”

“Sometimes I swear you’re much too smart for your own good,” you muttered sourly.

“Are you ready?” Heero questioned as he spotted his friends. He briefly gave you his full attention and you knew that if you wanted to stop this charade, he would let you. 

“Yes. I’m good, Heero.”

“Let’s go meet the devil itself then,” Heero told you solemnly as he steered you towards Relena and Quatre.

“If Relena ever hears you speaking about her like that, she’ll go nuts, Heero,” you reprimanded him, but the laughter in your voice betrayed your true thoughts.

“Better not to let her hear us then,” Heero simply responded with a teasing smirk. 

You actually did laugh this time, simply loving his playful side. 

“Heero!” Relena greeted loudly. You briefly wondered how much of her old obsession she still had when Quatre appeared beside her. He did see surprised to see you hanging from Heero’s arm, but was smart enough not to comment on it. “I’m so glad you came!”

“Heero, [Name]. Always a pleasure to see you both. And might I add, you look gorgeous tonight, [Name],” Quatre smoothly stated as he kissed the back of your hand in greeting. 

You couldn’t help but blush. No one ever treated you like that except him. Hilde and Duo were not that far away and both were watching you and Heero ever since Relena had called out in greeting. Shortly after Quatre’s greeting, they reached your side. 

“I didn’t know you received an invitation as well, [Name]?” Hilde commented with a smile that screamed ‘fake’. 

You just wanted to scratch it of her face. Not to mention that the barb in her words wasn’t lost to you. 

“I didn’t. I’m here ‘cause Heero asked me.”

“Oh, so you’re the poor, unfortunate soul he forced to accompany him,” Hilde commented with an almost derogative glance at your dress.

Damn, was it you or was she even worse than usual?

“No,” Heero stated coldly as he pulled you closer against him and wrapped his arm around your waist. The very motion screamed his possessiveness of you and you couldn’t help but blush again. “She’s the one who honored me with being my date,” Heero told her brusquely. 

“H-Heero,” you whispered in an attempt to calm him, but the guy wouldn’t have any of it.

“Date?” Relena and Hilde whispered at the same time. 

“You mean date date? As in, you two are dating date?” Relena quickly followed up with the question. 

You shot her a soft yet shy smile and nodded. Then, you followed it up with an even brighter smile as you looked up at Heero. 

“Yes,” Heero answered as he looked at you with surprisingly warm eyes. It made you blush all the worse. 

“I … I didn’t know you two were interested in each other like that,” Hilde whispered, obviously baffled. 

“I’m glad you invited me tonight,” Heero addressed Quatre. Then, with an almost teasing glance at you he stunned the rest of the group by continuing with, “It gave me the chance to finally ask [Name] out.”

You shyly looked away from him and just barely caught Duo’s disapproving frown. What was up with that? 

“Heero, I’m thirsty,” you whispered as you wanted to make a brief escape from all those curious – and one very irritated – gazes. 

“Of course. Excuse us,” Heero smoothly stated as he steered you away from the foursome, his arm still wrapped tightly around your waist. 

“That was fun,” you whispered as you and Heero shared a smile. 

“Hn.”

“Still so eloquent. Why again did I agree with this?”

“Because I completely awed you with my good looks,” Heero offered you in such a dry voice that you couldn’t help but laugh. 

The night, however, was far from great. After that brief introduction, you couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with Duo. All night long, he kept giving you those false smiles that never reached his eyes – and sometimes he even ignored you and Heero altogether. It was weird considering the fact that _he_ was the one who wanted Heero to come to the ball in the first place!

“I’m going out for a few minutes,” you whispered in Heero’s ear as you leaned closer. Heero – too lost in whatever discussion he was having with Wufei – only grunted in answer. 

Sadly, though, you weren’t alone on the thankfully quieter balcony for long.

“Is it true?” Quatre asked as he approached you. 

“Is what true?” you shot back when he stopped next to you.

“You and Heero,” Quatre clarified as he placed both hands on the railing and turned half towards you. His gaze, however, was completely on the stars. “Is it real or are you both just trying to keep Relena from hooking him up with every potential female present at this ball?”

You bit your lower lip as you gazed at the darkening garden. What were you supposed to tell him? Quatre obviously suspected foul play and you didn’t want him to spill Heero’s plan to Relena. In the end, though, Quatre sighed and your time to ponder it over was long gone.

“I thought so.”

“I never said it wasn’t true,” you quickly pointed out.

“But you didn’t say it was either,” Quatre shot back smoothly.

“Maybe we’re both curious to see where this can lead us.”

“If that’s so, I should warn you to be careful.”

“Why?” you questioned, obviously confused. It almost sounded like Quatre didn’t want you and Heero dating. 

“Because maybe Heero’s dating future isn’t the only thing on the line here.”

“I don’t follow.”

“I could be wrong, but I always thought you liked Duo,” Quatre softly spoke and you automatically blushed. The soft chuckle told you that you had lost this battle. “I thought so.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” you quickly told him as you met Quatre’s gaze. The kindness you encountered there made you feel more at ease as you told him, “He obviously doesn’t feel the same way about me. If he did, he would be with me and not Hilde.”

“Maybe he’s just as afraid of this as you are,” Quatre remarked softly. 

“Or maybe he simply doesn’t care about me that way,” you told him with a quick shake of the head. You sighed. “Just let it be Quatre. It hurts too much to continue living with false hope,” you whispered as you thought it over. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” He turned then and left you, but right before he disappeared inside he added a soft, “I just hope you don’t end up giving up before the race is over.”

“What race? I never joined any race. And if I did, then I think the competition is a marathon runner and I’m more the sprinting type,” you muttered miserably as you gazed up at the stars.

“Whose springing?” Duo questioned and you froze. He sounded happy, carefree almost and it annoyed you somewhat because he’d been ignoring you half of the night. Wasn’t it then good payback to ignore him now? “[Name]?” 

Duo appeared next to you, leaning backwards against the railing you were tightly holding on to. His elbows were casually placed on the railing and he shot you the most dazzling smile that would’ve made you sigh on any other day. 

“Oh, come on, [Name]. Don’t be that way. Please?” Duo almost pleaded as he shot you his famous puppy dog eyes while at the same time managing to pull off a pout as well. “I’m sorry.”

“Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?” you questioned harshly, willing yourself not to give in to him just yet. 

“Eh? Well … Eum … I think I’ve got a pretty good idea,” Duo reluctantly admitted while he rubbed the back of his head with his right hand – a nervous action you knew too well by now. 

“Really? Then tell me what you did.” 

“I didn’t mean to ignore you,” Duo muttered sadly.

So he did know! 

“Then why did you?”

“Well, I … I don’t know,” he answered gloomily, those usually expressive eyes staring at the balcony floor. You never liked seeing him this way, but he truly had hurt your feelings. “It’s just that recently things haven’t been going like I thought they would and I’m confused. I honestly don’t know what to do about any of it,” he muttered irritably.

“Duo, …,” you trailed off unsurely. You hesitantly reached out and placed your hand gently on top of his forearm. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know and I’m sorry. I promise I’ll tell you soon, okay? I just … I can’t. Not yet.”

“I … I can’t deny that it sucks to hear that, but … Yeah, okay. As long as you know that I’m here for you when you need me,” you told him with an honest smile that made him smile back at you. 

Damn, there went your heart again – skipping a beat. That was the smile he only ever showed you. You sighed as you retracted your hand and gazed up at the stars again, your mind wandering and pointing out a few more things you actually wanted answers to.

“Why were you glaring at Heero, Duo? I caught you a few times and it doesn’t make any sense. I thought you wanted him here so that Relena and Hilde wouldn’t be planning your … wedding …,” you trailed off, angry at yourself for having hesitated over that damn word. 

“I …”

“There you are, [Name],” Heero interrupted whatever Duo would’ve told you. 

You shot Heero a dark glare that warned him to be careful, but faltered when you caught sight of Heero’s smirk. That – combined with the victorious light in his gaze – seemed strange for the situation. What was going on?!

“Couldn’t have chosen a worse time to appear, Yuy,” Duo grunted irritably. Your shocked gaze flew to him – Duo never addressed Heero with ‘Yuy’ - and you realized he looked absolutely peeved.

“Duo!” you sharply scolded him, only to falter a second time when those hurtful and angry orbs focused on you. 

You took an automatic step backwards, but Heero was there before you realized it. His arms wrapped around your frame and pulled you close to his body, which only seemed to anger Duo further. You’d never seen him so out of it and it scared you slightly, so you quickly averted your gaze from him and quietly said, “Perhaps you ought to go back to Hilde, Duo. I’m sure she’s wondering where you are.”

Duo stood there for a few more quiet minutes, huffed in silence, and then left with angry strides. 

“I’m sorry.” Heero whispered in your ear as his arms around you tightened. 

“I want to go home, Heero,” you told him simply. You were angry at yourself for being this weak and at Duo and Heero for their behavior towards you and each other. 

“I understand.” 

With that said, he took your hand and guided you back inside. 

“Quatre. It’s been a pleasure but we’ve got to go,” Heero told his friend as you passed him.

“Alright,” Quatre answered softly. The concerned look he threw your way, though, spoke volumes about his knowledge regarding the situation on the balcony. “Just don’t make us wait three months like last time, huh?” he jokingly added to lighten the mood. 

“So soon?” Relena questioned softly when she joined the group, a fresh drink in hand. 

“[Name ] is tired and I have an early shift tomorrow,” Heero offered as excuse.

Saying goodbye to the all was surprisingly easy. You were out of the mansion and in Heero’s car in under five minutes. The drive home was quiet, though, because you were still angry with Heero for the way he behaved towards you and Duo. When you arrived, you simply left the car, slammed the door shut, and quickly entered the building. All you heard was Heero’s sigh as he followed.

“I’m sorry,” Heero muttered just as the elevator doors were closing. 

“Why did you do it?” 

“It was necessary.”

“Necessary?! You interrupted a damn fine moment and started a fight with your best friend for no good reason! I thought the entire point of this evening was so Hilde and Relena were kept from going crazy over planning either your future dates or his fucking wedding.”

Wow, you were actually swearing. This wasn’t you being angry. This was you being flaming pissed! Even Heero seemed aware of your current mood and the need to tread lightly. 

“If you aren’t going to follow your emotions, then I’m going to do it for you.”

“The hell?! What does that even mean?!” you demanded just as the elevator doors opened. 

Heero simply smirked, walked out, and only stopped when he was standing in front of his own apartment. 

“You love him,” he stated as he fished his keys out of his pocket.

“It’s a stupid crush,” you countered.

“Hn.”

“Okay! Fine! I freaking love the guy!” you yelled, tears already gathering in your eyes as your heart ached with unrequited love. “I love him and he loves Hilde!”

It was silent after your outburst, Heero simply regarding you with narrowed eyes as you tried to control your wayward emotions. 

“He loves her. Not me,” you whispered as you ferociously wiped away the tears that were beginning to fall. You didn’t want this! “So stop trying to shove it in my face. I know, okay?! I know!”

“No, you don’t know,” Heero merely countered. It earned him a furious glare. “He cares for you.”

“But he doesn’t love me.”

“I think he does.” 

Your breath was frozen in your lungs, your disbelieving stare focused entirely on Heero. 

“What?” you wheezed almost breathlessly. 

“He loves you. He just hasn’t figured that out yet.”

You snorted, laughed, chuckled bitterly – all the while with tears streaming down your face. 

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. _He loves you. He just hasn’t figured it out yet _. Bullshit!”__

__“We’ve been friends for a long time, [Name]. emotions seem to come easy for him, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t ignore them either.”_ _

__“I don’t want any more false hope, Heero,” you warned him sharply._ _

__“You love him,” Heero stated as if that was all the reason you need not to give up._ _

__“Yes, but it hurts,” you whispered._ _

__Heero’s hug was unexpected and a bit awkward, but welcomed. You were lucky to have him as a friend._ _

__“I warned you then. Follow your emotions or forget him. You didn’t do either, so I will do it for you.”_ _

__“This won’t end well.”_ _

__“Have faith. He cares.”_ _

__“I’ve lost my faith a long time ago, Heero. If he truly cares for me … Why is he acting like this?” you questioned in a lost tone that made Heero’s grip around you tighten. You clung to him as you allowed him to comfort you._ _

__“He’s figuring things out. Be patient,” Heero told you softly._ _

__You sighed. Patience wasn’t your forte. If things didn’t work out as fast as you wanted, you usually switched objectives – which was surprising to think that you managed to cling to this foolish love for two years already._ _

__But maybe Heero was right. You just needed a hot shower and a good night’s sleep. That idea quickly morphed into thirty more because for an entire month, you didn’t hear anything from Duo and it made you feel wretched._ _


	4. Chapter 4

You were bored. Heero had left for a mission last Wednesday and you didn’t have anyone to distract you from your heartache. This was absolutely the worst time EVER to be stuck at home. Nothing you did helped distract you from your broken heart or the reason why Duo hadn’t come around anymore. You sighed as you switched the TV-channel. 

A soft knock on your door offered you some happily welcomed change, but you couldn’t help frowning as you stood. It was almost as if your visitor hadn’t been certain about knocking on your door in the first place.

“D-Duo?” you breathlessly questioned when you opened the door. For all of a minute, you felt angry for his lack of communication. Then, you became aware of his gloomy – almost broken even – appearance. “What’s wrong?” you couldn’t help but question as you ushered him inside. 

Duo’s gaze held so much pain that you felt your heart squeeze uncomfortably. Maybe the guy didn’t realize how much he was hurting you, but that was your fault – not his. After all, you’d never told him how you felt about him. And maybe he would never fully realize it, but you were his friend and you were damned if you let any of your friends wallow in their misery because of something as stupid as a broken heart!

“I …,” Duo trailed off as you forced him to sit on your couch. 

“Tell me, Duo,” you pleaded softly as you sat next to him.

“Hilde,” the guy croaked sadly.

You should’ve know.

“What happened?” you softly questioned, hating the kicked puppy look he bore. It tugged at your heart and you instantly wrapped your arms around him, offering him the comfort you knew he needed.

“We had a fight,” Duo told you as he hugged you back. 

“About?”

“Marriage,” the guy growled angrily. His grip on you tightened for all of a second. “I don’t even know why she’s making such a big thing about getting married! Why do we have to rush into it? We’re still young, yet she’s pushing it so much. I told her I wasn’t ready yet and she exploded. I … I don’t know what we were shouting at each other at the end, but when she said that I didn’t want her – that I should go to …”

“Go to?” you urged when Duo made no move to continue.

“You.”

You sighed, sad that you’d been the reason for Duo’s and Hilde’s fight. Even if you loved the guy and wanted him to yourself, you couldn’t deny that Duo and Hilde shared a history together. They were happy together – at least, most of the time anyway. But Hilde had never liked you. It had been clear from the very beginning that she was wary of you, maybe even jealous. 

“I left after that,” Duo continued, his voice carrying a harder edge to it. What else had happened to make him react like this? “I didn’t want to stay and fight even more, but Hilde said that - if I walked out of the door – I didn’t have to come back. I … I think we broke up.”

“I’m sorry, Duo,” you whispered as you pulled back and gazed at Duo’s defeated expression. Duo threw his hands up, stood up, and started pacing. 

“Yeah? I’m not so sure I am. All we do lately is fight and I’m tired of it,” Duo growled as he clenched his hands tightly. 

“You two love each other, Duo,” you forced out, knowing Duo would hate himself later for all he was saying right now. 

“Do we?” Duo scornfully questioned and it caught you by surprise. Then, the guy stopped and shot you a strange look. “How can I possibly love a woman who calls my friend a whore?!”

Say what now?! 

“Excuse me?” 

Duo sighed and his gaze turned both sad and angry. 

“She said that I should go to the ho I called friend.”

You narrowed your eyes and tightly clenched your teeth to keep your response to yourself. It wouldn’t do to voice your irritation over the matter. Duo – thankfully ignorant to your true feelings – sat back down next to you and leaned his elbows on his knees while he buried his head in his hands. 

“I can’t believe she said that!” Duo moaned irritably. 

“I can,” you couldn’t help but mutter, but Duo thankfully didn’t overhear. You sighed, placed your hand on Duo’s upper back, and continued with a soft, “Maybe it would be easier if you … stopped.”

“Stopped?” Duo questioned sharply, raising his head and shooting you a dark look.

“Stopped coming by, I mean.”

“You want me to leave?” Duo questioned disbelievingly.

“No, I don’t _want_ you to leave. It’s just … If I think about it, all your fights lately have been about either marrying Hilde or about your friendship with me and I’m …,” you trailed off with a regretful sigh. You couldn’t believe you were voicing this, but it had been haunting your every thought for the last month or so. “I can’t help but think that maybe it would’ve been better if we never met.”

“What?!”

You flinched, taken by surprise by the sheer animosity in Duo’s voice. 

“Duo –”

“Do you truly believe that?!”

“I … I don’t know what to believe anymore,” you whispered as you avoided his gaze. The pain in those expressive eyes was too much for you. “But I can’t deny that I thought it would be easier. For you as well as me.”

“I might be willing to understand why you think it would be better for me, but how could it be easier for you?” 

“I’d rather not say. Not yet anyway. You have your secrets and I have mine,” you simply muttered as you stood up and walked towards the window.

“[Name], …,” Duo sighed sadly as he rubbed at his temples. You saw him do so from his reflection in the window. 

“Forget I said anything,” you quickly muttered as you turned and showed him a smile that you hoped he couldn’t see was fake. 

Without looking at him directly, you moved towards the kitchen in order to grab yourself something to drink. Halfway there, though, you were forcefully stopped when Duo grabbed hold of your elbow and turned you around so you were facing him. 

“No,” the guy told you darkly. He gently grabbed your chin and tilted your head upwards so you had no choice but to meet his gaze. “I can’t forget you said something, because if this is what you’re thinking then I need to make you understand that you’re wrong.”

“W-What?”

“It wouldn’t have been better if I hadn’t met you.” 

“But –”

“I’m glad you’re my friend, [Name],” Duo told you sharply. There was no denying the truth to his words and you hated it. You hated the fact that you were his _friend_! “Never forget that!”

“I won’t,” you softly stated as you escaped his hold. A quick glance at him, however, made you hesitate. He looked uncertain and strangely angry with you. “I’m sorry, Duo,” you sighed as you hugged him.

“For what?” 

“You came here after a fight with Hilde and I get all needy,” you muttered, hating yourself for that. 

“Hey, come on now,” Duo laughed as he ruffled your hair. You pulled back with a sharp shriek and quickly smoothed your hair again as you shot Duo a fake glare. That only made him laugh harder. “I can’t deny that it’s damn nice to be needed,” Duo shot back with a wink.

“How long are you going to stay?”

“Actually,” Duo began with a smile that didn’t fool you. He was up to something. “I was planning on crashing at Heero’s, but he seems to be away on ‘till next week so-”

“Duo!” 

“- maybe a week?”

“You are the worst,” you grumbled as you shook your head.

“That mean I can’t stay here?” Duo questioned timidly. 

“You know you can, just … Are you really sure that you shouldn’t go back to Hilde and try to make up or something?”

“I doubt she’ll want to see my face right now,” Duo muttered almost bitterly. 

“Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.”

“Maybe in a few days. I … I need some time to think.”

“Alright,” you caved and Duo’s bright smile was well worth it. You sighed and shook your head. “Just until Heero’s back!” you warned him with a sharp look.

“You’re the best, [Name]!” Duo exclaimed before pulling you into a hug. It might’ve been short and over too soon to your liking, but you loved to cling to the feeling of his arms around you.

“That’s what you always say when I give you what you want,” you muttered.

“Is it? What do I say then when you don’t give me what I want?” Duo playfully threw back at you.

“Who knows. You’ve never not gotten what you want from me. I wonder why that is,” you pouted.

“Hey, stop thinking about it then! I don’t need you to figure that one out.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because you might not continue giving me what I want if you do,” Duo threw back with that sinfully big smile. 

If only the guy realized why you always did end up giving him what he wanted. 

“Idiot,” you fondly told him.


	5. Chapter 5

The first three days were over before you knew it. Duo managed to drag you into going out and ‘enjoying some fresh air’ - those were his words, not yours. Nevertheless, you really liked those times. It felt like he was truly there for you, but you couldn’t stop wondering how long this was going to last. 

“[Name]?”

“Huh?” 

“You were spacing out again,” Duo said as he gave you a concerned look. You two were currently watching some action movie. Normally you would’ve complained how action movies weren’t your style, but since your thoughts were keeping you busy you weren’t really focusing on the movie.

“You sure nothing’s going on? You’ve been spacing out a lot lately.”

“I’m sure, Duo,” you said absentmindedly. 

Duo frowned at your answer, but he let it slide in favor of the movie. It was about five minutes later – or that’s what it felt like to you – when someone disturbed your peace. You glanced at the door as a second knock quickly followed. You were too comfortably to move, which earned you an amused look from Duo. 

“I’ll get it,” he said as he lifted your legs from his lap and stood up. You yelped and made a sound of protest, but it was ignored as he placed your legs on the couch again. “Don’t move in on my spot, okay?” he playfully warned. Then, he winked and walked towards the door.

You snorted and muttered playfully, “Now why would you think that?” 

It was only Duo’s gasp of surprise that had you up and moving. You lifted yourself slightly higher so you could catch a glimpse of the now open doorway to see your visitor. The moment you saw her, though, your heart gave a painful squeeze. 

“Hilde,” you whispered sadly. 

“Duo,” Hilde tenderly began as she looked at him. “I came to take you home.” 

The way she said _home_ was even worse to overhear. You held your breath as your gaze flew to Duo’s, wondering what he was going to answer. 

“You kicked me out if I remember correctly,” Duo said in a voice you never heard him use before. It send shivers down your spine and not in the comfortable way.

“I was mistaken. I need you, Duo. I love you.” 

Hilde sounded almost desperate to you and it was strange. Hilde never was a desperate woman. Overbearing and jealous as hell, sure, but never desperate.

“Why?” Duo questioned coldly.

“W-What?”

“Why do you love me?” 

“Duo, I …,” Hilde began, but she never finished. She just stood there with her mouth slightly open, begging him with her eyes instead. 

“You don’t know.” 

It wasn’t voiced like a question. No, Duo was stating a fact at this point – one he didn’t like at all.

“I love you for who you are,” Hilde began, but quickly realized she was losing Duo. Then, her eyes narrowed and she righted her back. “If you think _she_ understands you, you’re wrong. She doesn’t know you or your past. She’ll _never_ accept you.”

Duo’s stiffened, his back becoming ramrod straight. There was a half-assed attempt to raise his hand and another deep sigh. For all of a second, you feared he hated your presence there. After all, Duo should’ve been more than aware of the fact that you could overhear _everything_. 

“She knows,” Heero surprisingly commented. 

You grip on the couch tightened as you recognized his voice. When had he returned?! 

“Wha– … Heero?” Hilde questioned softly as she spun around to look at the man you couldn’t yet see. 

“Glad to see you back in one piece, ‘Ro,” Duo greeted his friend and - even though his voice didn’t sound as dark as before - you still noticed something was off with him. 

“Hn.”

“She can’t possible know anything!” Hilde hissed, pulling everyone’s attention back to her. You glared as you realized she would start badmouthing you again. “She can’t accept what he is! She’s nothing but an ordinary civilian! She doesn’t understand anything related to the war!” 

Hilde was getting desperate. Her voice went up with every word she spoke, until she was shouting at the end - shouting and glaring at Heero.

“I told her my past a long time ago. She accepts me, so why not him?”

It was more a statement than a question, but Hilde replied none the less.

“Because she _can’t_! She’s just a piece of trash,” Hilde shouted hysterically. Hell, she didn’t even register the fact that both Heero and Duo were glaring at her right now, nor the fact that - if you heard correctly - Duo literally growled when she called you a piece of trash. “She’ll break you and then who will you come back to?! Me! It’s always me! Just you wait and see! She can never love you like I do! She doesn’t understand the meaning of the word love. I know she doesn’t!”

Okay, that was it! You stood up and barked a loud, “Hilde!” 

When they all turned towards you, you approached. There was nothing more you hated than being talked about like she was doing. It was even worse with her because she never even tried to get to know you. No, all she did was judge. 

“Why do you even hate me so?” you questioned, honestly at a loss for her hostility. 

“Why?! How dare you even ask that of me?! You’re constantly undermining me! I won’t let you get away with this. Not this time! You don’t deserve him! You don’t deserve anyone, you damn bitch! Even your parents knew that, why else would they –”

You stood there breathing heavily, eyes wide open and glimmering slightly from emotions you couldn’t afford to let free. Your hand ached from slapping Hilde, but it was so worth it!

A tear escaped your notice as Hilde raised her hand towards her cheek, surprise and hatred clear in her eyes. All Heero did was glare at Hilde while Duo simply looked at you in awe. Sure, the guy knew that your family was a touchy subject. 

“I’m no competition to you, Hilde,” you tried one last time as you tried to bite back the pain and sorrow.

“Of course you aren’t! You’re nothing! Of no importance to anyone! I swear, it would’ve been so much better if you never came into this life! In _our_ lives!”

You clenched your hands in an attempt to stop yourself from hitting her again. “I don’t have to take this from you! Not here! Not in my own house!” 

With a powerful shove, you pushed her outside of your apartment and slammed the door shut. The surprise in her eyes was enough to give you a bit of satisfaction. You glared a bit more at the door when she started pounding on it, shouting out things you quickly tuned out. 

“[Name],” Duo carefully began, but you wouldn’t hear it.

“No! Just leave me alone! Both of you!” 

And with that said, you stormed away. You locked yourself in, your room offering you a little solace and you quickly broke down completely as you slid down with your back against the door and your face buried in your hands.

What Hilde had said had left you feeling raw. How dares he even use your parents against you?! It was true, though. Your parents had left you, but it had never been their own choice. They’d been killed when a nearby battle got too close to your house. The rest of your family had also died during the war, but most of them had joined rebel forces and died in the line of duty. You were the last one left. 

Maybe that’s why you always felt connected to the guys. They didn’t have any family either - except maybe Quatre - but that didn’t stop them. They made their own. You admired that about them, wanted the same thing even. 

It was a mood point that you honestly thought that you’d made a family of your own, too. But maybe Hilde was right? Maybe you weren’t what Duo needed after all. Maybe in the end, you would just end up hurting him.


	6. Chapter 6

Two more days quickly passed and – much to your surprise – you hadn’t seen or heard Hilde again. You made it a point not to question either Heero or Duo about it. It would bring back too many unwanted memories and that woman didn’t deserve a single miserable moment.

[Name]?” Duo questioned just as you grabbed your coat and purse.

“Yeah?”

“Why do you have to leave?” the guy dared ask in that too innocent a tone.

“Maybe because _someone_ raided my fridge for the last of my ice-cream. And the last milk. And the –”

“Okay. Okay already! But I swear I didn’t take those last few sprinkled donuts!”

“Then how do you explain them disappearing so suddenly? You really expect me to believe that a thief snuck in my house in the middle of the night and only took some donuts and six ice-cream containers that should’ve still been in my freezer?!” you questioned disbelievingly as you turned towards him and shot him a doubtful look. 

“Eum … I can’t really think of something right now, but I’ll get back to you on that,” Duo said with his cutest apologetic smile. 

It was enough to make you laugh, which only made Duo’s own smile turn brighter. 

“I’ll be expecting that excuse when I get back then. For now, I have to go shopping and I still need to make a pit stop at the bank. If I don’t hurry the store will be closed by the time I leave the bank and my fridge will remain forever empty. It shouldn’t take more than two hours tops, I hope.”

“Why don’t I come with you then?” Duo suggested, already making a move to swipe his own coat of the rack.

“Oh, no, Duo. That’s hardly necessary. Besides, don’t you have that fishing trip with Heero to get ready for? I distinctly remember you promising him you’d go,” you reminded Duo. 

“Fine. Just … Just be careful, okay?” 

The way he said that – with so much obvious concern – made you smile. You shook your head and turned slightly wistful as you stared at Duo. It wasn’t like he meant anything more with it. You knew that. And yet …

“You know I will. You be careful, too. I’d rather not come home to an apartment that lies in ruins,” you laughing joked as you opened the door and slipped outside just as Duo started stammering his protest. 

Half an hour later and you were waiting in line at your local bank. Thankfully, though, you didn’t have to wait too long before you could speak to the secretary.

“Excuse me. I have an appointment with Mr. Tanaka.”

“Ah yes, just a moment please,” the woman kindly spoke as she reached for her phone. You felt slightly unsettled as you waited. It was almost if you wanted to leave as quickly as possible and you didn’t understand where that feeling came from. “He’s coming down to see you, miss. Please take a seat. It won’t be long.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

Two minutes later, Mr. Tanaka was there to pick you up.

“Miss [Last Name]?” the kind, middle-aged man spoke up.

“Yes.”

“Follow me please.”

“Okay.”

After eight minutes of talking to Mr. Tanaka, your previous problem was cleared and taken care off. You were glad it didn’t take too long. The weird unsettling feeling inside of you had only grown to new proportions and it was making you slightly queasy.

“I can assure you, miss, we’ll notify you as quickly as we hear back from our head branch in New York,” Mr. Tanaka spoke 

“Thank you for everything, Mr. Tanaka.”

“Thank you for being a client at our bank, Miss [Last Name],” he said as he offered you his hand and a small smile. 

Then, the guy lead you out of his office. Just a few more seconds and you could leave. Hopefully this queasy feeling would know an end by the time you got to the store. Or perhaps you were coming down with something? The flu was making an early entrance according to yesterday’s news.

You two finally made it to the ground floor again and once more shook hands. When you were about to turn around, though, a booming voice shouted, “Everybody on the ground. NOW!”

Your heart literally stopped beating. In those two lousy seconds between the shouted order and the instinctive need to listen, your only thoughts were about Duo. 

“Listen up, people. This is a fucking bank robbery. Get down now or there will be consequences!” a second guy yelled loudly.

A sharp pull on your sleeve made you falter and drop to the ground. You whimpered as pain briefly flashed through you. It would certainly leave a bruise. 

“Sorry,” Mr. Tanaka whispered as he released your hand and focused on another woman who’d been standing to his right.

For a split second, your gazes met and you saw the fear in those grey eyes. 

“Sir! We’ve got a situation,” a woman shouted towards – what you at least assumed – was their leader. 

“what is it?”

“Someone pressed the alarm. We caught him, but I fear we didn’t reach him in time.”

Damn it all to hell! Who was it?!”

“We’ve got him in there,” the woman answered evenly as she nodded towards the side office.

“Watch the lot of them. Keep them quiet and gather them over there,” the guy grumbled darkly as he pointed towards the back of the bank. “I’ll deal with the idiot you caught.”

For all of five minutes, you were only aware of the fearful shuffling of feet as the robbers gathered all the hostages near the tellers. Then, though, a loud and fearful whimper passed through the crowd when a gun went off. It had come from the side office. 

“No,” you whispered as you stared at the door that opened not a few seconds later. 

The bastard had killed him! He actually killed someone in cold blood. 

“Anything so far?” he asked his group of misfits. 

“I can see sirens. They’ll be here in under a minute,” another one of his band spoke up. He’d been staring out the windows near the door.

You heard it, too, and you weren’t sure if it was good thing or not. 

“We’re all going to die,” a woman in her mid thirties – a five year old child at her side – whimpered fearfully. 

“Silence!” the leader’s booming voice made many of the hostages whimper with fear. Those steely green eyes moved over the lot of you, before coming to rest on the woman next to you. “Congratulations,” the man sneered as he approached and grabbed the woman by her hair. 

“Mommy,” the child cried out and was quickly held back by Mr. Tanaka. 

“Stop. Please, stop!” the woman begged fearfully.

“You’re being promoted from hostage to shield,” the guy muttered as he ignored the child’s wailing.

“Please,” she begged again.

“Shut up and do what I say. You hear me!” the guy growled as she slapped her across the face so hard that she fell to the ground. 

“Wait!”

“Who dared speak?!” the leader snapped as he glared in your direction.

“I …,” you whimpered even as you met his angry gaze with a semi-confident look of your own. Your mind begged you to stop, but your heart urged you to intervene on the woman’s behalf. “I spoke.”

One of the robbers briskly walked over and grabbed you by the front of your shirt. After delivering a harsh slap – which split your lip and made you taste blood – he dragged you over to the leader.

“Now why would you do a stupid thing like that?” the guy questioned condescendingly.

“T-Take me,” you whispered.

“What?!”

“Take me instead of her. I-I could be more helpful,” you began in a voice that shook with fear. The leader raised an eyebrow, telling you to continue. You were obviously amusing him with your semi-brave antics. “She has a child and she’s afraid. I-I’m not,” you whispered. The guy only smirked in response, obviously knowing you were lying. “I’ll follow you orders faster than she can.”

You felt each beat of your heart as if the damn thing wanted to jump out of your chest. For twenty beats, the guy in front of you studied you with narrowed eyes that belied his aggression. You regretted ever having spoken up, and yet, you were also happy you hadn’t kept your silence. It was simply insane. 

“Then the real question is, will you try something?” 

“No,” you whispered in a shaky voice.

You swallowed heavily as he leaned even closer. Whatever he saw in your eyes - may it be good or bad - it was enough for him to reach his conclusion. He let go of the woman and pushed her quite harshly towards the rest of the hostages. 

“We’ll see. Just be reminded, woman, that if you do try something,” the robber trailed off as he leveled his gun on the woman who was by now embracing her child fiercely. 

“No!” you screamed as you saw his finger twitch. “I won’t! I swear I won’t!” you promised him over and over again, your gaze flittering between the gun and the woman. 

“Very well,” the robber smirked as he lowered his gun, but the undertone in his voice warned you that he would see through on his threat should you dare anything. 

Then, the guy wrapped an arm around your neck and pulled you towards the entrance of the bank. On the way out, your eyes briefly connected with the woman’s, but she quickly looked away in shame. All you could think was that Duo would declare you insane if he ever found out what you’d tried to do in here. 

Before you knew it, you were standing outside. The leader of the bank robbers held you in front of him with a steel grip, a gun pressed against your temple. The cops had already arrived, surrounding he bank and having secured a perimeter. The sight of all those guns now aimed at you – though hopefully at the guy behind you more than at you - made you despair. 

One guy came forwards at a very slow pace and his hands held in the air. Once he was within hearing distance, he stopped and was about to address the leader only to have the bastard at your back beat him to it.

“We have hostages! And we’re not afraid to kill them if anyone comes too close!” 

“We know,” the nameless cop calmly replied. “But as an act of goodwill, why don’t you let the older people and the children leave. If you do that, I’ll be able to convince these guys that you don’t have any bad intentions and it will be easier to arrange for whatever you want.”

That made the guy laugh and it unsettled you even more.

“Don’t think me a fool! You don’t even know what we want!”

“Then tell me,” the man calmly replied, totally undisturbed by the man’s crazy laugh.

“I want the man responsible for the death of my wife!”

The police man stilled for a few minutes – obviously not having expected that kind of answer - but he quickly got a grip on his expression again. 

“And who is that?”

“Find out who killed Alexia Kinsley,” the robber shouted, before stepping back and dragging you with him. 

When the doors were once more closed behind you two, you were dragged towards a solitary spot in near the center of the room.

“Good job, my dear,” the robber said sweetly. You just grunted, your hands shaking and your voice more than likely not having come out stable if you’d tried to react. “You’ll wait here until those idiots find the bastard.”

Minutes stretched and turned into hours. You didn’t know how long you had been there, but it was getting dark out.

You were dozing - or at least you thought you were – when someone roughly grabbed your arm and pulled you up. A frightened scream tore from your lips, but it only amused the robber who’d pulled you up. 

“It’s time for another trip outside, sweetheart. Let’s see if the old plumbag of a cop found my killer,” he whispered in your ear again as he plastered you against his front. 

It was dark outside and the spotlights were almost blinding you when you walked out of the bank. The gun that was tightly pressed against your temple was a constant reminder of the situation you were in.

“Have you found him?” 

The same cop as before approached with his hands held in the air. He looked grim. 

“Yes.”

“Where is he then?” 

You whimpered as the leader’s tone went slightly more crazy and less calculating like before. It was obvious that the guy was obsessed with this man. 

“I’m right here,” an eerily familiar voice called out.

No! Nonononononono!

The arm around your neck tightened painfully as the robber zeroed in on the speaker. You did the same, but you were filled with dread and denial. The harsh, blue orbs that stared back at you were expression the guy’s anger. All the time, you could only think of a single thing.

Why Duo?!


	7. Chapter 7

“So you finally decided to show me your face,” the man holding you spat out. 

You flinched as his grip around your neck tightened a little too much. The rage in his voice warned you that this would not be easy. The guy was delusional at best. All you could do at this point was hope for the best and prepare for the worst. 

That intention only strengthened when your gaze locked with Duo’s angry stare. The guy was pissed, but the longer you looked, the clearer it became that there was also a lot of fear in his eyes and stance. He was afraid and you realized a little belatedly that it wasn’t for himself. No, he feared for _your_ life.

Sadness washed through you when you realized that you were his top priority at this point. 

You mouthed the words, “I’m sorry.”

The way he squared his shoulders and the brief flexing of his jaw muscles told you that he’d understood what you’d mouthed. A glimpse of movement to Duo’s left showed you that he wasn’t alone. No, Heero was there, too. Relief flooded you. You pleaded with Heero with your gaze alone, trying to make him understand that you needed him to watch Duo’s six – and thankfully Heero understood because the guy nodded his consent.

“You got a name I can call you by or do you want me to make one up?” Duo questioned in that upbeat voice, but the dark underlying tone betrayed his true thoughts. 

“You can call me Jack,” the guy responded in much more than a growl. 

“Jack? Cool. I’m Duo.”

“Don’t care what you’re called. Just now that you’ll be dead soon,” Jack shouted with obvious malice in his voice. 

Duo nodded towards you, but his sharp gaze was entirely focused on Jack and the gun he had plastered against your temple. 

“Let her go, Jack. This is between you and me. No one else needs to get hurt.”

“It’s between you and me, yes. But I’m no fool. I need a plan B if you will. She’s,” a brief tap of the gun against your temple, “is my plan B.”

Duo’s eyes narrowed, his teeth gritted as he tried to hold back his response. 

“What do you want?” Duo shouted next. 

Jack laughed, the sound still as unhinged as ever. 

“You dead.”

“To the point,” Duo shot back humorlessly.

“I want you cuffed and bounded inside this bank by midnight. If not, body’s will start dropping.”

Everyone stilled at the treat. Hell, you even stopped breathing when Jack nearly cut of your air supply as he hissed the words. 

“We want some hostages released before that demand can be met,” Duo forced himself to say.

“You can want the damn sun to shine and it wouldn’t change a thing. You’ll meet my demands without any hostages being released, _Duo_. After all, you don’t want more deaths. Because – believe me – I’ll start with her first,” Jack sharply pointed out as he tapped the gun against your temple again. 

With that said, he began to pull you back into the ‘safety’ of the bank. Duo glanced at you before you disappeared from his sight and you could see the utter panic in those orbs. Please, let Heero keep him focused and stop him from doing anything risky!

Jack immediately grabbed you by the back of the neck and pulled you towards the desk where he pushed you harshly to the ground. The glare he shot you automatically made you lower your own gaze. 

“How did it go, sir? They found him?”

“Yes,” Jack snarled. His gaze thankfully left you as he turned towards his henchman. “He’ll turn himself up to us, that’s for sure. And when he does … When he does, we’re going to have loads of fun,” the leader sinisterly began as he crouched down and grabbed a fistful of your hair. He leveled your head backwards so he could stare down at you. “Won’t we, dear?”

You couldn’t contain the whimper, but Jack only seemed to enjoy your reaction. He – thankfully, because you sure as hell couldn’t last long under such assault – left you alone for the remaining hour until midnight. The hostages were getting fearful and the bank robbers were restless the closer midnight came. 

“Shut them up! I’m getting sick and tired of hearing their pathetic whimpering!” Jack suddenly shouted, making the entire gathering of hostages cry out in fear. That in return made Jack all the more nervous. He leveled his gun on a nearby young woman – who only began to cry more because of it – and snarled, “I said, shut the fuck up!”

“Please,” the woman whimpered as she hid her face and sobbed into her hands. 

Jack’s finger twitched as he stared down at the woman. The situation was growing precarious and you didn’t know what to do to stop it. It was then that you saw it, the slight movement to your right. A panel from the ceiling moved only inches. Because of your location near the desks, you were in a beneficial position to observe another panel on the floor reveal dark cracks. You really hoped those two positions gave the good guys enough of an advantage to stop the robbers without any causalities.

To your right, you saw a person crawl into the office – thankfully remaining out of sight and detection. Heero. That meant Duo wasn’t too far away, right? You waited with baited breath for the chaos that was ensued to start any second now – and not a second too soon because Jack looked ready to shoot someone. 

It was the slightest of sounds that seemed to disturb Jack and made him look at the ceiling. 

“What the … They’re here!” Jack yelled just as everything moved in slow motion. 

Jack grabbed the woman nearby, holding her against him and leveling his gun on her. One of his henchman aimed his gun at the ceiling while another looked ready to shoot just about anyone. You knew Heero needed a diversion to take most of them out, so you did something so stupid and so unbelievable that you would be scolded for days if you ever made it through this – you flattened yourself and kicked the guy closest to you against the chins. 

The guy fell down, his gun going off and pushing everything in motion.


	8. Chapter 8

You flattened yourself, kicking the guy closest to you, and – thankfully while not getting shot – managed to get the gun away from the woman’s head. His twitching finger, however, made the gun loose a warning shot as the guy buckled forward. 

In reality, it was probably closer to a few minutes that passed. To you, however, it felt like an entire lifetime. Noises overruled everything, but you couldn’t be bothered with them. No, your entire focus was on the guy you’d just flattened. You straddled him, already pulling back a hand to hit him. The guy fought you tooth and nail – managing to land a few blows of his own – but you managed to keep him from using his gun again. 

The guy seemed to realize a change in tactic was called for. He abandoned the fight over his gun and grabbed a knife – who really knew where he’d been hiding the damn thing – and you quickly divided your attention. You knew, however, that this was a losing fight. Your control was slipping, your body tiring and your fear slowly creeping up on you again. You were going to lose this fight and die. 

At least, you thought you were until the guy – after having gained the upper hand and managed to reverse the roles so he was on top of you – suddenly grunted, stiffened, and dropped forward. Unfortunately, the knife had been close enough to your arm to nick the skin. 

“Are you okay?” Duo questioned seconds before he pushed the guy off of you. 

“ …”

“[Name]?! Are you okay?!”

A hand touched your cheek and you realized that Duo’s normally relaxed blue orbs looked too sharp, too worried even.

“Duo …”

You managed to shoot him a shaky smile. Some of Duo’s tension slipped away, his eyes briefly turning warm as he gazed down at you. 

“Don’t you dare do that to me again!” Duo scolded as he lifted you slightly and crushed your upper body against his. His embrace was slightly painful, but not unwanted. “Never do that again,” Duo continued to scold you as he never once released his grip. 

“Duo …”

“I thought I was going to be too late,” Duo told you when you pulled back slightly. His tone – and his gaze, too – held such anxiety that it shut you up. 

“You weren’t,” you reassured him as well as yourself.

“How very touchy,” a hysterical voice commented just as the sound of a gun cocking was heard. 

Duo froze, his eyes showing you that he realized his mistake. He’d lost track of his surroundings. Hell, so had you. Only now did you realize how dangerous a thing you’d both done. You were in the hallway – somehow having ended up there during your previous struggle – and no one was near to help either of you. 

“Duo,” you urged softly, anxiously. 

Duo shot you a sad look, before he stood up and faced his attacker. 

“I won’t let you lay a single finger on her,” Duo nearly spat. 

“I won’t let you get away with this,” the female accomplish of Jack snarled at him. Her gun wavered ever so slightly as she stared at you both with hysterical hatred. Tears were cascading down her cheeks as she glanced at Jack. “He didn’t do a damn thing to you and you killed him!” she raged. 

“He threatened me and what I hold dear,” Duo explained calmly, but the girl wouldn’t hear it.

“Don’t lie to me! _You_ can’t love anyone. You’re not capable of it!”

The gun wavered as she screamed the words back at him. You slowly stood up as well – which made you the woman’s focus point. Duo stiffened and immediately placed his body between you and the gun. 

“She has nothing to do with this,” Duo stated darkly.

“Neither did my fiancée, yet you killed him!”

“Jack –”

“Not Jack! David. You killed him at the Saint-Petersburg’s base! He was just an innocent mechanic. It was not his battle and you killed him without a second of hesitation!”

“What happened in the war is a tragic loss. I regret it with all my heart, but I can’t undo what’s been done,” Duo tried to reason with her and show her his regrets regarding the things he did. 

“Lies! All lies! You knew he was there! You knew they were innocent! You’re a cold blooded killer and you deserve to die for all the pain you’ve caused us.”

“Killing me won’t bring them back,” Duo tried to reason, but there was a tone to his voice that made you edgy. 

“I know it won’t,” the woman answered with a sudden calmness that made your skin crawl. “But then I wasn’t planning on killing you.”

Her finger twitched and you could only stand by and watch things unfold in slow-motion. The loud bank of the shot being fired, the woman’s sudden calm smile as she stared at you both, Duo’s body moving inches to the right to cover you entirely, the bullet impacting with his body and tearing flesh and muscle. You screamed Duo’s name as the guy stumbled backwards just as another agent tackled the woman to the ground. She was quickly subdued, but the damage was already done. 

“Duo!” you called out sharply, hoping to draw his attention as you rushed to meet his falling body. “Duo! No!” 

You couldn’t hold him up as his body seemed to give up on him and you both went down. There was too much blood, his breathing was labored, and his eyes already half-closed. You feared losing him more than you feared anything in life. 

“Please don’t die,” you pleaded over and over again as you maneuvered his body that you could apply pressure to his wound. It didn’t help much. Blood was still pouring out of the wound, soaking your hands and Duo’s shirt. “Get a paramedic down here! Now!” you half-sobbed, half-screamed at anyone who would listen.

“Don’t cry, [Name],” Duo’s weak voice reached your ears, but it only caused your tears to flow faster. 

“Please don’t leave me, Duo,” you begged him. One hand rose as Duo reached to touch your cheek. You automatically leaned into the touch. “Please,” you brokenly begged him again.

“Never,” the guy actually promised you. The sharp glint to his eyes – even as it was slightly dulled due to pain and fatigue – made you believe him. 

“[Name]! Duo!”

“Heero!” you shouted, easily recognizing the voice. You wordlessly pleaded with him as he swiftly approached you both, the worry on his face not helping in calming your own fears. “He got shot. I … I don’t know … I can’t lose him, Heero! I can’t!” you sobbed as you tried to explain what happened, unaware that Duo’s own gaze reflected your own growing grief and regret. 

“[N-Name],” Duo began, but his voice was so weak. His breathing, too, began to grow wheezing. 

“Don’t you dare die on me, Duo! You can’t!”

You ignored Heero as he focused on Duo’s wound, easily surrendering that part to him because you knew he would do a better job at keeping Duo alive than you could. 

“He’ll be fine, [Name]. The idiot’s too stubborn to die,” Heero tried to console you, but you were already shaking your head.

“I-I can’t …”

“Hey … what are you two … blabbering about. I’m … perfectly … fine,” Duo wheezed.

You appreciated the effort, but you all knew it was a lie. 

“You’re losing too much blood,” you sobbed.

“…”

Duo’s breathing was erratic by now. You couldn’t bear seeing him like this. 

“Please don’t leave me. I love you. I need you,” you sobbed as you finally confessed to him how you felt. You weren’t even sure if he heard you or not for his eyes were drooping and the light in his gaze grew less fierce. “No!” 

A pair of hands gently, but firmly peeled you away from Duo seconds after the paramedics arrived. You were pulled to the side, fighting the hands that guided you away from your love. 

“He’ll be fine, [Name],” Heero tried to comfort you again, but you didn’t believe him. 

“I need him, Heero,” you sobbed as you watched the paramedics work franticly to save Duo. 

All you could do was stand there and watch as they tried to stop the bleeding and eventually carried him off to the hospital. You and Heero were allowed to join. All the time, you held tight to Duo’s hand. You never looked away from his pale visage, wondering if you would ever get the chance to talk to him again. 

Your thoughts were all over the place when Quatre and Relena joined you and Heero in the waiting room of the hospital – having been instructed to wait there upon your arrival. Quatre was the one who approached you, seating himself next to you and waiting for you to say what was haunting you.

“It’s my fault, Quatre. All of it,” you whispered brokenly, waiting for his angry agreement. 

“Why do you think that?” Quatre questioned surprisingly enough.

“I was there. Duo … He tried to p-protect me and she … He took a bullet for me. It’s my fault that he’s dying.”

“[Name]!” Quatre harshly began, finally voicing the anger you’d been expecting sooner. You startled, raising your gaze and meeting Quatre’s reprimanding one. “He’s not going to die!”

“But …”

“Have more faith in him. I know you’re scared, but if you don’t have hope for his survival …”

“I do! I want him to! I _need_ him to, but …”

“You’re scared.”

“Yes,” you sobbed. 

“He’ll pull through this, [Name]. You’ll see. He’s a resilient guy.”

You sobbed all the harder when he said that. You did believe. You had to! But at the same time, you were so scared that he wouldn’t pull through. 

“Why are you being nice to me, Quatre?” you questioned after finally getting your tears back under control.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because I … I’m the reason –”

“No, you’re not!” Relena told you firmly. Your eyes instantly sought her out. “It’s alright to be upset with how things unfolded, but Duo chose to protect you for a reason. It was his decision to take that bullet, which means –”

“That I’s my fault,” you finished for her, but only received a scolding glare from Relena.

“That Duo cares a lot for you. It’s not your fault and none of us are blaming you for this.”

You fell silent after that, actively avoiding looking at either Quatre or Relena. A distant part of you knew that they were right, but you still felt guilty as hell about Duo getting shot. 

For now, all you could do was wait and hope. Hell, maybe you’d throw in a pray or two for the God Duo believed in.


	9. Chapter 9

It was way past midnight when the doctor finally gave you the news. You cried at that point, simply clinging to Heero’s arm and crying to your heart’s content because Duo would live!

“I told you he was strong,” Heero soothed you, but you heard the relief in his own voice. 

“I know. I just … I ….”

You stopped trying to form sentences after that. It just wouldn’t work no matter what you tried. Your heart was a mess and your brain wasn’t much better, the relief too palpable to bring order to the chaos both had succumbed to. 

“Where’s Hilde?” Quatre whispered to one of his friends, but you overheard.

“She should be here by morning. She was somewhere on L1 when we called her,” Relena answered with an obvious frown.

“When can I see him?” you questioned no one in particular. 

“Right now if you want. They moved him to room 201,” Quatre informed you with a gentle smile as he offered you his hand. 

You shot him a watery smile and accepted the offered hand. The fact that the hospital room you’d walked into was a standard one, soothed the last of your nerves. They must really believe him to be strong enough if they let him spend the night on a normal ward. 

The first thing you did was cling to his hand as you seated yourself in the chair closest to his bedside. You stared at it, then him, then the hand again, before lowering your forehead against his skin. 

“Thank the heavens you’re alright,” you whispered. 

It was surprisingly easy to doze off, the murmurs of the others strangely soothing. When you woke again, you were aware of a few things – namely the blanket placed over your shoulders, Duo’s deep breaths, and the utter lack of a second presence in the room. 

You took use of the opportunity presented to lean closer towards Duo’s face, brushing back the few bangs that obscured your view. It would’ve been ten times better if the guy would just open his eyes again and let you stare into the orbs you loved so much. You wanted him to smile up at you and tell you it was okay. 

“Glad to see you up again,” Quatre’s voice floated to you from the doorway.

You froze, quickly withdrawing your hand and looking at Quatre with a slightly guilty expression. 

“Morning, Quatre,” you whispered as you quickly seated yourself again in the chair you’d claimed for yourself yesterday.

“It’s almost midday, but I’ll go with it,” Quatre chuckled. 

“Where’s Relena?”

“She went to the cafeteria to get us something to eat,” Quatre supplied with a brief look at the hallway. He shot you a curious look, before a mysterious smile lifted his lips. “But it’s been a while. I think I’m going to see if she hasn’t gotten lost yet.”

You smiled, understanding that Quatre was giving you some time alone with Duo. 

“Quatre,” you called out before the man could disappear. 

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Quatre offered before disappearing. 

You waited a few minutes before you boldly changed seats and sat down on Duo’s bed. You leaned forward as you brushed his stubborn bangs away again and placed a gentle kiss against his temple. 

“I don’t know how you’ll feel about me when you wake up. I know it’s my fault that you’re here, but I’m selfish and I can’t help but hope for things to work out. I’d be lost without you and I … I nearly lost you without telling you how I really feel,” you whispered with a frown, annoyed at your own lack of courage. “I’m not afraid anymore, Duo. I came too close to losing you and I just want you to know the truth. So wake up already. Wake up and let me tell you how I feel about you.”

“Don’t you dare!” 

The harsh voice startled you enough that you nearly jumped off of the bed. As you turned, you already suspected who would be standing there – Hilde. 

“He deserves to know and I deserve to tell him,” you told her with more calm then you thought you possessed. You were done being afraid of her or your own feelings.

“You don’t deserve anything! Isn’t it bad enough that you almost killed him?!”

You flinched, the words doing more damage than you wanted to show. Thankfully, though, Quatre and Relena’s kind words from the night before had helped you overcome some of your self-blame. 

“I …,” you trailed off, wondering if anything you said to her would make a difference. 

“You don’t deserve him. You’re nothing but filth. You’ve been trying to steal him away from me for two years already and I won’t let you continue this vile behavior any longer – and don’t you deny it! Isn’t it enough that he left me because of your interference?! You’re nothing but trouble. He _loves me_! Not you! I don’t think anyone could ever love you,” Hilde heatedly shot back at you, gazing at you with obvious disgust. 

Your own emotions were all over the place. You felt sad, angered, irritable, guilty – though you refused to rise to her taunting. A hospital was not the place for this type of fight. 

“He loves me! I know he does. We’ve been going through a rough spot, but he’ll always choose me, you damnable man-stealing-wench. He doesn’t love you and you will not tell place the burden of your unwanted feelings on him! Do you hear me?!”

“He deserves to know,” you manage to force out through clenched teeth. 

“Ha! Don’t let me laugh. You know he’s too nice to tell you off. He’ll want to stay _friends_ , but I will not stand by while you offer him another reason to die!”

That last sentences slammed straight into you. Your insecurities were slowly coming back, but you still refused to back down just yet. 

“I did not shoot him,” you force out in a cold voice. 

“Do you deny it’s your fault that he was at that bank?”

“It wasn’t my fault! That insane robber asked for him. _He_ wanted Duo there.”

“But it’s your fault he let down his guard down and got shot!”

“I …”

That much was true. No matter what Quatre and Relena had told you, your insecurities once more reigned supreme. You swallowed down the rising bile of guilt and glanced at Duo’s too still body. Duo was more skilled than that. He never let people sneak up on him. The only reason that woman had been capable of that was because he’d been too worried about your safety. 

“It’s your fault that woman had something to hold over him. If you hadn’t been there – if he hadn’t known you, she wouldn’t have held that power him! He wouldn’t have felt the urge to take a bullet meant for your worthless hide!”

Your vision shimmered as you lost the battle against your tears. 

“No, I …”

“You know I speak the truth! So do us all a favor and just leave already. Leave everyone alone or I swear you’ll get lucky one day and actually kill one of them – if not all of them.”

You shook your head, your hands clenched at your side. 

“S… Stop … I … [Name] … can’t … Sorry,” Duo mumbled as if by divine intervention. The poor guy was still asleep, but obviously dreaming something that tore at him. “Love … Hilde …”

Your heart stopped beating and every sense of fight left you completely. Breathing became hard, the pain in your chest making it impossible to even think. 

“See!” Hilde gleefully sneered. She stepped closer to Duo’s bedside and grabbed his hand in her own. “He doesn’t love you, never has. He only loves me. Now do us all that favor and just leave already. Make sure you don’t give Duo anymore reason to die in vain for your pathetic hide.”

You bolted out of the room as if the devil himself was snapping at your heels. You passed a stunned blonde couple on your way out of the hospital, but you barely noticed. Quatre’s worried voice called after you. It didn’t register though. No, all that consumed you was the pain and it was blinding you to everything else around you.


	10. Chapter 10

“Miss?” a gentle voice called out as you slowly awoke. 

You blinked open tired eyes only to find yourself staring at the stewardess. You blushed as you looked at the woman. 

“I-I’m sorry. I must’ve fallen asleep.”

“It’s alright, miss. It happens more often than you think,” she offered in a friendly tone. She gave you a polite smile, before moving towards another sleeping passenger. 

You quickly got up and grabbed your bag, ready to check out. 

“I can do this,” you mumbled as you walked out of the shuttle and set the first steps back on L4 after a long time away. You sighed again, as you moved towards the one person you could’ve done a lifetime without. 

It took forty minutes to walk to the house you remembered from your childhood. It took you another five minutes to work up the courage to ring the door bell. 

“Yes?” an elderly woman you instantly recognized questioned as she opened the door.

Damn, she’d grown old. You smiled softly as you asked, “I’m looking for Mr. Olsen.”

Her eyes narrowed a bit as if she was trying hard to remember you. When a smile of her own bloomed on her face, you knew she remembered you. 

“It’s been a long time, [Name],” she greeted as the tension seeped out of her aged body. Her gaze moved over your body. “You changed a lot in the last two years.”

You sighed and shook your head. “I can say the same thing about you Nanny Princeton.”

The last of the tension left her as you called her by her name. She moved forward and quickly pulled you into a hug. 

“Welcome back, child. I didn’t think I’d see you again in this lifetime.”

“If I the circumstances were different, I would be happy to see you again, too,” you whispered sadly, hugging her back for all you were worth. 

“What happened?” she questioned worriedly as she pulled back and once more looked at you appraisingly. She quickly ushered you inside, closing the doo behind her and leading you towards the back porch. 

You told her everything over a cup of old fashioned tea. 

“So you left?” she questioned softly at the end of your tale. 

“Yes. Do you think I decided on the wrong thing?” you questioned honestly, fearful of her answer.

“It’s not my job to tell you how to live your life, my child. Just as it isn’t mine to tell how Graham lives his.”

“I’m actually hoping he’s still up to his old ways. I’m in need of those ways right now.”

Nanny Princeton gave you a concerned look. 

“Don’t do anything you’ll come to regret, [Name].”

“I won’t. I just need to make sure no one finds me before I want to be found. Sort out my thoughts in private, you know. And to do that, I need to become someone else.”

“Like I said,” she began with a soft sigh, “it’s not my job to tell you how to live your life.”

“But you want to, don’t you?” you teased her with a full smile. She smiled back at you, the sparkle back in her eyes as your teasing reminded her of better days. 

“Very much so, yes,” she spoke earnestly.

“I’ll give you his address. I’m not sure he still lives there, but it’s the only thing I can give you on him,” she said after a few peaceful minutes.

“Thank you.” You spend another two hours with her, before you stood at her front door once more. “It was good to see you again Nanny Princeton. I hope you the best.”

“And I you, my child.”

“Nanny?” you questioned after a few seconds of lingering on her doorstep.

“Yes?”

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone who comes looking.”

She frowned at your question, “I won’t lie for you, my child.”

“I’m not asking you to lie for me, I’m asking you not to tell anyone,” you said softly. She looked at you for a few more minutes, taking in what she could from reading your eyes. After a while, she sighed and nodded her head, “I won’t tell them unless I see fit to.”

You knew that that was all you would get from her as a promise. 

“Thank you.” 

After one more hug, you left her house and continued your journey to the address on the piece of paper, now clutched tightly in your hand.


	11. chapter 11

Nightfall was soon upon you by the time you reached the rundown apartment building that didn’t seem to fit with L4’s outstanding buildings. Each time the floorboards creaked, you flinched and questioned your actions. By the time you finally did reach the intended door, you were filled with regret, irritation, and fear – which caused you to hit the door twice as hard as intended as you knocked. 

“What?”

The gruff question made you bite your lower lip. By the time the door creaked open and a grey eye was studying you in the light of the hallway, you wondered if he even recognized you after all this time.

“You wound my pride, Graham. I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to forget me.”

As harp intake of air was your only warning before the door flew open and Graham stormed into the hallway to offer you a proper greeting. 

“I missed you,” he only said as he held on tight. 

“I know …,” you only managed to tell him.

“It took you too long,” Graham muttered as he grabbed your shoulders and held you at arm’s length. 

You offered him a wan smile as you cataloged the changes within your former friend. Graham had grown slightly as he was now a few inches taller than you. He’d grown in width too, but from the bone-crushing hug you had received it was smart to say that it was most likely all muscle. 

And yet, there was something about him that tugged at your heart. Graham looked tired, his hair in disarray and his beard was too full. In a way, Graham reminded you of Duo – if only by his choice in clothes. All black was his go-to, just like Duo. 

Thinking about Duo made your smile slip from your face completely, leaving only the pain and misery behind. Graham instantly noticed. 

“Come inside. I’m sure there’s a whole story involved with why you’re suddenly here.”

“Thank you,” you muttered as you followed him inside the apartment. 

“Want anything to drink?”

“No, thank you,” you declined as you sat down on the couch.

Graham shrugged and got himself a beer before planting himself in the seat across from you. 

“So … What happened. If memory serves me right, you swore you’d never come back here and I could rot in hell.”

Graham may have voiced it like he didn’t care about it, but you recognized the pain in his eyes. 

“I … I’m sorry, Graham. I really am. But you have to understand where I was coming from. I just lost my parents and I was lucky enough to have Nanny Princeton willing to look after me.”

“We all were,” Graham muttered, absentmindedly sipping from his beer.

“Yes, but I thought of you as a friend Graham. Not a lover. You … What you did. I couldn’t trust you anymore,” you finished in a soft voice. 

“I never wanted to hurt you, [Name]! Why can’t you see that. I loved you and I know you felt attracted to me. I didn’t see the wrong in –”

“The wrong is where,” you almost shouted, before you stopped, swallowed, and tried again in a softer tone. “The wrong is where you tried to force yourself on me. I wasn’t ready for that Graham.”

“I told you I was sorry. And I stopped when you told me to!”

“It didn’t change things, Graham. It didn’t help me feel safe around you anymore. Every time I saw you, I was afraid. I … It wasn’t how I wanted to keep on living. Besides, your side-business wasn’t really encouraging me to trust you either.”

Graham glared for a bit, before letting his shoulders sag. He understood well enough what he did wrong and how you felt. You’d told him so long ago. That, however, didn’t stop him from looking at you with a lingering regret. 

“And now? Why are you back now?”

“I need your help with something,” you muttered and Graham caught on quickly enough. 

He laughed, though there was no real humor in his voice.

“The side-business that scared you away is what brought you back to me? Is supposed it’s a good thing I still got those skills then.”

“Graham …,” you trailed off, not quite knowing what to say to that.

“What do you need from me?” Graham questioned next, getting straight to the point. 

“A new identity. I need to … disappear.”

Graham looked at you hard and long, searching for an answer he hadn’t asked any question to. In the end, he gave up and took another gulp from his beer. 

“What happened? Got yourself into some trouble and need to escape it?”

“Not quite. It … It’s complicated,” you sighed sadly.

“I got time,” Graham told you with a simple shrug. The guy got more comfortable and simply looked at you expectantly. 

“Fine,” you sighed, running a nervous hand through your hair.

And so you told him. You revealed everything that had happened the last two years in short, to-the-point sentences. 

“So you left ‘cause some bitch told you his love wasn’t yours?” Graham questioned, obviously surprised by your lack of a fight. 

“Basically, yes.”

“That’s not like the girl I know.”

“Maybe that just proves how much of me you really know,” you spat, annoyed that Graham was right in that – even if you didn’t want to agree to it. 

Graham glared at you for a few uncomfortable minutes, but soon relaxed again and sighed. 

“Perhaps, yes. But are you really sure about this, [Name]? There are other methods to getting some time to think things through.”

You snorted at the proposition. Graham wouldn’t be saying that if he knew the guys like you did. 

“They won’t give me that time. I know they won’t. They’ll want answers and I’m … I’m not even sure if I ever want to go back there.”

“Like you didn’t want to come back here, huh?” Graham bitterly muttered. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered sorrowfully. “I just …Will you do it, Graham?”

Graham waited until you once more met his gaze, before he offered you your answer. 

“Only if you forgive me for what I’ve done.”

“Oh, Gray,” you began in a voice that betrayed your nostalgic mood. The mere fact that you called him by his nickname made another flash of regret appear in his eyes. “It wasn’t forgiving you that was hard. It was forgetting it.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he sent you another soulful look. 

“I know,” you simply told him. “But perhaps it was for the better. I got to know some really amazing people that really helped me move beyond what the war left me as.”

“Then why leave them?”

“I told you why.”

“Just because it’s too painful to face?” Graham questioned, his voice barely able to suppress the disbelieving lilt to it.

“I’m a runner, Gray. You know that better than anyone else. It’s what saved me when my family died. It’s what saved me from those soldiers that … that tried to …,” you trailed off, your voice nearly breaking as you thought back to it. 

This time, though, Graham didn’t let you leave it unvoiced.

“I reminded you of them, didn’t I?”

This time, it was you who bore a pained expression when your gazes met. You regretted his actions as well as your own, but there were some things that just couldn’t be fixed. After gazing at him for a few silent minutes, you realized he already knew the answer to his question. 

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, your voice betraying his misery. 

“You and me both,” Graham replied with a sad smile. “Perhaps if things had gone differently, you and me would’ve ended up together after all.”

“Graham, I don’t think –”

“Or maybe that’s just hopeful wishing on my part, huh?” Graham told you with a smirk. 

As you looked back at him, you offered him a sincere smile in the first time in over two years. 

“Maybe,” you simply told him, not willing to break his heart any further. 

The following twenty minutes were silent yet comfortable. And then you asked him the one question that had been bothering you ever since you got on the shuttle.

“Are you happy now?”

Graham looked away from you, stood up to get himself another beer, and swallowed that one down in one go, before he replied with a simple, “I’m content.”

“That isn’t happiness,” you pointed out. 

“It’s far more than I ever believed I deserved.”

“Gray …,” you trailed off in an uncertain voice.

“We both know that I gave up hope a long time ago, [Name]. I thought I would end up somewhere way worse than this. So I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones.”

“I see …,” you simply responded. 

“Now let’s got to business, my friend. Where do you want to go, what do you want to do, and when do you want it done?”

You sighed deeply before answering him. You had already pondered those exact same questions during the ride over, but it wasn’t easy to organize your chaotic thoughts and voice those things out loud.

“I’d like to change my last name,” you began and Graham nodded as he fetched himself a pen and paper from under one of the many magazines on the floor to his right. “I was hoping to keep my first name, but change it to my middle name. And perhaps use [Nick Name] as my first name. They don’t know it, so I doubt that they’ll recognize it.”

“That can be arranged,” Graham said seriously as he tried to pen it down, his handwriting barely readable to you.

“Place of birth doesn’t matter to me, nor where I lived before. Just make sure my degrees are almost the same to the one’s I already own.”

“Uhuh. How about living conditions?”

“I was hoping to stay in one of the colonies. Maybe somewhere in L1?”

“Do you want a house or an apartment?”

“An apartment. That way I don’t have to buy a lot of new furniture.”

“Alright. I’ll fill in the blanks and you can have it by … Thursday.”

“Can’t you speed things up? I don’t have a place to stay and I’d rather not be here for much longer,” you said absentmindedly. When Graham’s gaze darkened, you knew he’d taken it in the wrong way. “I-I don’t mean it like that Graham. I meant that I’d rather not stay long enough for them to find me. You don’t know them like I do. They’re great in finding people that don’t want to be found.”

“Whatever,” he muttered as he stood up and turned to his computer. 

He was trying to show you that he wasn’t affected by your statement, but you knew better.

“Graham!”

But the guy wouldn’t listen to you. In fact, he simply ignored you and began to place a few calls. After twenty minutes he turned to you and told you the ‘good’ news.

“I’ll have it by nightfall tomorrow.”

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.”

You stood up, unsure of what you were going to do in the meantime. Graham must’ve seen something on your face, for he sighed again - this time out of fake suffering.

“You don’t have any place to stay, do you?”

“Eum … No?” you said innocently. “But it’s alright. I’ll just go to one of the nearby hotels and see what they still have left.”

“Sweetcheeks,” Graham called out, sounding amused. You stopped your walk towards the door and slowly turned around. He was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his lips. “Did you forget that this is the busiest season of the year for hotels? I doubt you’ll find any vacancies. You didn’t plan this trip very well, you know.”

“I know Graham! I just … I couldn’t stay there any longer,” you muttered miserably as you thought back to Duo’s hospitalization and Hilde’s accusations.

“I’m not making any complaints. I’m just saying that if you want a place to crash, you can bunk here.” You looked uncertain at his offer and his shoulders dropped when he noticed it. “I’m sorry, I forgot,” he said bitterly. 

Your heart hurt as you saw him standing there. After two years of not seeing the guy, you still managed to hurt the one guy that took care of you when you were afraid and in pain. Perhaps it was time to trust him again? After all, he was helping you with this. You owed him some trust.

“Alright,” you mumbled softly. Graham looked at you with a hopeful look in his eyes. 

“Excuse me?”

“I said, alright.” 

The smile you got in response was worth more than any answer he might have given you. 

“Follow me then.”

You did just that as said, allowing him to lead you to his spare bedroom. As he left you to rest, your mind was still in turmoil with the happenings of the day and your thoughts slowly began to stray back to your friends.

How was Duo fairing today? Had he woken up already? Was he alright? What would Heero do when he found you gone from your apartment? What had Quatre done when you ended your phone call with him so abruptly? Was Hilde taking care of Duo as well as she should?

You sighed and groaned in frustration as those thoughts kept haunting you well into your dreams. All in all, you woke up frustrated with how little sleep you had gotten and how little your mind had come to rest over the night. Your thoughts still jumped from one subject to another and it kept doing that for the rest of the day. By the time midday came around, you were going nuts by your own thoughts. You even gave yourself a killer headache. 

After letting Graham take a few pictures for your new ID – all in line with a recent change in hair color and cut - you tried to get a few more hours of rest. When Graham finally came back from retrieving your new papers, you were good and ready to start your new life.

“Graham, I’d like to ask a favor of you before I go.”

“What kind of favor?” he questioned unsure of your actions. 

You laughed softly as you saw him eyeing you in a suspicious way.

“Not that kind of favor, you idiot,” you said as you knocked him upside the head. 

“Hey! That hurts you know!”

“It’s nothing less then what you deserve for even thinking it.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, but soon laughed as well. “Now tell me what kind of favor?”

“I …,” you began only to stop unsurely. Then, you sighed and simply reached into your pocket to pull out a crumbled envelope which you gave to Graham. “If someone ever managed to track me down and demands that you tell him where I went, just give them this. It explains my reasoning to them.”

“Are you sure this is what you want, [Name]?” he questioned softly.

It wasn’t the first time he had asked you and you feared that - for as long as he could - it wouldn’t be the last time either. He was no fool. He could read the pain in your eyes and hear it in your voice. 

“I’m sure that they’ll find me eventually. I just hope that by the time they do, I’ll be strong enough to face them - to face _him_.”

“For your sake, I hope so too.”

You smiled softly at him when he said that and hugged him tightly to you. 

“Thank you, Graham, for everything.”

“You’re welcome.”

You pulled back and lifted your duffle on your shoulder, ready to leave. 

“Wait,” Graham called out before you were at the door. You stopped, but didn’t turn around.

“How will I know who to give this to?”

“Believe me, there will be no mistaking them. You’ll know.”

And with that, you left his apartment. Taking the same route back towards the L4 shuttle port and boarded the first available flight to L1, your new home and life.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third P.O.V.

Duo groaned as he slowly began to wake. His entire body hurt and the dry taste in his mouth told him that he had been drugged. His first thought was that the enemy had managed to catch him, but that quickly changed as memories of the bank came forth.

“[Name]?!” he suddenly called out as he shot up in his bed. However, he quickly came to regret that action as his shoulder exploded with pain, followed quickly by his entire chest area. Groaning in pain, he let himself drop softly back unto the mattress. 

“Duo,” a worried female voice - one he knew he should recognize - called out to him. Someone rushed to his side and started lecturing him. “You shouldn’t move like that. Your wounds are still too sore and new to withstand such actions. They need time and rest to heal, Duo!” This time he recognized it as Hilde’s voice. 

What was she doing here? Where was [Name]? Was she alright? Had he saved her?

“Ugh,” Duo tried to speak, but yet again only a groan managed to escape his lips.

“Take it easy, Duo,” another voice said to his right side. Quatre?

“You need rest. You’ve lost a lot of blood. Your lung got punctured by the bullet.”

“And it’s all because of that no good –”

“Hilde!!!” 

Quatre’s voice never sounded so angry and harsh before. It made him wonder what had happened. His eyes slowly opened in an attempt to look at them. Things were blurry at first, but that slowly changed. Even though both of them were now looking at him with concern and relief, he could detect a tension that was setting his nerves on end. 

“Wha-,” he tried to say before he started to cough, grabbing his ribs in an automatic reaction to stop them from aching too much by his coughing. Quatre was quick to reach for a glass of water and Duo was glad for it. It soothed his dry throat. Once he had his fill, he tried once more. “What’s … wrong?”

Hilde was the first to answer and it annoyed him more than ever before. 

“Nothing’s wrong, not now that you’re finally awake. Soon you’ll be able to leave this hospital and then you can rest at home. I know you’ll feel much more at ease there.”

“Hold … the …. horses!” Duo exclaimed breathily as he tried to sit up again. He flinched yet again as his wounds started to ache. Quatre was soon helping him in a comfortable position so that he didn’t overtax his wounds. It hurt to breath, let alone talk, but he needed to get this straight! “Where?” he breathed out painfully.

“Where what?” Hilde asked, clearly not understanding what he was trying to ask. 

“Home?”

“Don’t be silly, Duo. Home is home. Our home!”

“No,” Duo suddenly exclaimed after a few moments of watching her intensely. His voice had never before sounded so hard when talking to Hilde.

“W-what!?”

“No! … Not … anymore.”

“D-Duo? You’re clearly delirious. You don’t know what you’re saying. I’m going to get a doctor to check you again. I know you wouldn’t normally say this.” She continued to ramble on and Duo was glad when Quatre finally intervened. 

“Hilde!”

“What?”

“Perhaps Duo needs a few more days before deciding what to do.”

“What is there to decide?!” Hilde yelled hysterically. “He’s coming home after this and that’s final!”

“I’m just saying that it’s his decision where to go. You can’t force him to do what you want.”

“He’s my fiancée!”

“If I remember correctly, no such proposition has been made yet.” At the sound of another voice, all heads turned towards the door. Heero stood there, glaring at Hilde as if she was the dirt on his shoes, while Relena - who had just spoken - looked a little uncomfortable by what she had just said. 

“’Lena … ‘Ro,” Duo said happily. He knew he could count on his friend and old partner to make Hilde back off. As Heero’s eyes connected with Duo’s, he briefly nodded his head in greeting and acknowledgement of his wakening, but they soon turned back to glare at Hilde. 

“Hello, Duo. It’s nice to see you awake,” Relena stated politely as she made her way to Quatre’s side. In the meantime, Hilde kept glaring at Heero - completely forgetting about the others.

“Perhaps you should go home,” Heero said harshly, making Duo frown. It wasn’t that he was upset with how Heero talked to Hilde, but something about his entire behavior seemed wrong. Something else had happened between those two, he could tell - and he was dying to find out what it was. 

“I will not!”

“Yes, you will!” Heero bit out as he started to advance on her. However, a hand on his arm stopped him from ripping into Hilde. 

“Don’t, Heero. It’s not worth it,” Quatre tried to appease him.

“It’s her fault!” Heero bit out after growling in frustration.

“Heero,” Quatre began in a way to restore the peace in the room. After all, this was a hospital. “Duo needs rest, not a room full of tension.”

Hilde glared at Heero, then at Quatre. “And that’s exactly why _he_ should leave.”

“He stays!” Duo said without any hitch in his breath. He was getting agitated and it was making him move past the discomfort and pain of his wounds. He would regret it later, but for now, he wouldn’t stop it. “And _you_ need to leave. We’re over, Hilde!”

“W-what!? Y-you can’t break up with me! We’ve been together for so long already! You were going to marry me!”

“No! You wanted me to marry you. … I never wanted that, … but you never thought about my feelings in all of this, did you? … After all the fights we had, … I knew we were wrong for each other,” Duo said before flinching again at the pain his deep breath brought along. Forcing himself to take slower breaths, he raised his eyes to her own one last time and spoke in a soft apologetic tone.“I’m sorry, Hilde, but please leave.” 

Hilde gaped at him for a few minutes, unable to say anything. When she finally found her voice again, she had tears in her eyes and her voice held a deep sadness and anger. 

“You’ll regret this, Duo Maxwell! And when that day comes, you’ll be crawling at my feet, begging me to take you back. And on that day, I will decide to turn you away.”

“ _If_ that day comes, we will be there for him,” Quatre said with steeled eyes. Heero’s silent agreement was seen by everyone in that room. Relena looked at Hilde with saddened eyes before nodding her head as well. She couldn’t understand how low Hilde had sunk to get what she wanted. 

“Betrayed by my own friend,” where Hilde’s last words as she left the room and all those inside it.

Duo groaned again in pain as he released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding in. He had been right - the pain was hard to bare, but it was worth finally standing up to Hilde. He closed his eyes and leaned back into the pillows. He didn’t know how long he had slept, but he realized he had to stand up to Hilde the day he saw you being held by that on vengeance driven bank robber. It was in that moment that he realized that you meant more to him than his own life. You meant more to him than even Hilde ever had. 

His heart had stopped when he saw you standing there. Your fear was clearly visible in your eyes, and yet, you kept a courageous front. Because of that, he was proud of you. When the plans were made to infiltrate the bank, it was hard not to let his mind wander and stray to you getting hurt in that operation. It was even harder to see you fighting with that guy from across the room. He had fought tooth and nail to reach your side as fast as possible, and even then, he nearly wasn’t fast enough. He nearly lost you. Just a moment later and that knife wouldn’t have hit your arm, but would’ve slashed your throat or stabbed your heart. Just a few seconds and it might have been too late. 

He shivered as that thought flew around in his mind. He had been scared witless that he had shot that son of a bitch too late and that you were dead. You just remained lying there, unmoving. He was frantic when he pushed that guy’s body away, calling your name over and over again. His fear soon turned into relief when he saw you responding. When you opened your eyes, he couldn’t stop himself from crushing you to him. So overcome with his fear - and then joy that you were still with him - he hadn’t heard anyone approach. He hadn’t heard the enemy.

It was that mistake that nearly cost him again. He might be in pain now, but it was well worth it if you were alive and well. If he had to make that choice again, he wouldn’t do it any differently. You were worth it! He smiled softly as he saw your image appear before him. That smile he loved, the way your eyes would light up when you thought he did something amusing, or the way your laugh sounded as he told a joke. How hadn’t he seen it? 

It didn’t matter. He saw it now and he’d let hell freeze over before letting you slip past his fingers. He realized that day that you were what made him want to go on. You were what made him want to get up in the morning in the hopes that he would run into you. Your smile, your eyes, your humor. He could go on and on about you and not find it tiring in the least.

You were always there for him. Whenever he needed someone, you were there. He loved that about you. That very thought was what made him realize he hadn’t seen you yet. Maybe you had gone home to get some rest, or maybe you had gone to the cafeteria for some food. Whatever it was, he was dying to know when he would finally see you again. 

As he opened his eyes again, he looked around the room once more, taking in every detail. There was still some kind of tension in the air. Something was clearly wrong, something he wouldn’t like to hear. Oh dear God! Please don’t let it be you! He couldn’t bear it if something had happened to you. He needed to know!

“Where’s [Name]?” he asked them, holding his heart in fear. Heero stiffened at his question and glared at the door Hilde had left through. Duo frowned at his behavior before turning towards Quatre and Relena. They looked guilty, sad, and nervous. Why? What had happened!? “Tell me,” he begged them in a loud tone. He was near panic as Quatre finally opened his mouth to speak.

“She’s fine,” Heero said, making Duo looked to him. He looked like his normal self again, certain about what he’d said. Duo nodded and waited for him to continue.

“You saved her, Duo,” Quatre began, understanding that Duo was thinking about the day of the robbery. “She stayed here until midday.”

“Why isn’t she here now?” Duo questioned, eager to see your face again. To tell you what he had finally figured out and to beg you to give him a chance. He knew he could make you happy, if only you’d let him try. 

“She’s went to work, Duo. Or have you forgotten that she has a full-time job?” 

“No,” Duo mumbled as he frowned. You hadn’t taken a few days off until you knew he was alright? Weren’t you worried about him?

“She cares deeply for you, Duo,” Quatre began as he somehow managed to figure out where his thoughts had led him, “but she trusted us to watch over you. Besides, she needed to occupy her thoughts.”

“Ah,” he simply said in understanding. You would come and he could ask you then. He closed his eyes once more and leaned back into his pillows, sleep claiming him within a minute. As soon as the others were sure he was asleep once more, Relena turned towards the other men. “Are you sure it’s wise to lie to him?”

“I know him, Relena. He would only push himself to find her if he knew.”

“He needs rest,” Quatre began as Heero looked at their friend with guilt in his eyes. “He doesn’t need to push himself or strain his wounds. We’ll tell him eventually, but for the moment, we need to find excuses to keep him from wondering what really happened.”

“I don’t think this is the right way to act.”

“I know, love, but you saw how he reacted. It isn’t wise to let him know just yet.”

“I know,” Relena sighed as she hugged her boyfriend close to her. “If only we were here when Hilde entered the room, we could’ve stopped [Name] from leaving. We could’ve stopped Hilde from saying such things.”

“We both knew things weren’t what they seemed between those two. We’re all at fault for not opening our mouths.”

“I just hope she’s alright,” Relena stated sadly. Things were quiet for a few minutes before Relena decided to speak up once more, “Heero?”

“Hn.”

“I know you’ve only been searching for a few hours, but keep us in the loop. Even if I didn’t always show it, she was a dear friend of mine as well.” 

Heero nodded his head as he moved towards the door. The blonde pair would keep Duo company for today, while he searched for you. He was hurt by the fact that you had decided to just leave, not even telling him what had happened or why you were leaving. He had to find out the truth when he had finally gotten that phone call from Quatre at three a.m. this morning. 

If only he knew what Hilde had said to you because he didn’t understand it. You hadn’t done something like this before, whenever Hilde talked bad about you. So, why now? What had happened to make you want to flee from their lives? He would find you and he would find out! More so for his friend’s sake than for his own curiosity.


	13. Chapter 13

Without anyone noticing, a whole week had passed and Duo grew restless with each passing day. Every time he asked his friends about you, they had made an excuse for why you weren’t there. If you weren’t on the job, you supposedly visited him when he was sleeping. The first few days, he would’ve believed them as he was still getting drugs for the pain, but now … He slept light. He knew you hadn’t come in a whole week. It was even suspicious how Heero hadn’t shown up much either. And when he did show up, there was something strange about him. He was angry and frustrated, Duo could tell. 

Today was one such days that all three of his friends were with him. He had just gotten a check up by Sally, who had become his appointed Preventers physician for the rest of his stay in the hospital. His lung had healed quite well and he would be able to go home by the end of next week. The first few moments he let everything be as usual, exchanging information, answering questions, etcetera. But after twenty minutes, he asked the one question he had been asking them each day. 

“When is [Name] coming for a visit?”

Everyone was silent for a good minute before Quatre opened his mouth to answer. 

“She can’t make it today Duo. She was called in for another late shift.” 

Duo looked at him for a long moment, contemplating what to say or do. He slowly lost his because he knew that they’d been lying to him for awhile. Why, though? 

“That’s bull,” he suddenly exclaimed, startling two out of three in the room. Heero merely lifted an eyebrow at his loss of composure. “Why are you lying about this to me! Just fucking tell me why she hasn’t come yet!”

“Duo,” Quatre began before looking away guiltily. “We,” he began again, before sighing and looking Duo in the eyes. His sadness about the situation was even more clear to whoever looked at him. “We don’t know.”

“W-what the hell does that mean?” Duo bit out as he used his anger to cover up his fear and worry. 

“Calm down, Duo,” Heero bit out as he pushed Duo back down. In his anger Duo had forgotten his wounds and had sat straight. 

“Heero, please. Tell me,” he begged his friend. 

“She’s alright, Duo. We just don’t know where she is at the moment.”

“How can you be so sure she’s alright if you don’t know where she is?! For all you know, someone’s taken her or hurt her. What if one of those guys at the bank caught her? What if –”

“Calm down or I will tell Sally to sedate you,” Heero threatened his friend. 

They had been careful for a week to keep his thoughts away from you in order for him to heal without wanting to travel the world in search of you. They didn’t need him pushing himself in fear and worry for you, only to end up reopening his wounds.

“Then tell me what fuckin’ happened!” Duo growled, but he didn’t fight to get up again.

“We don’t know exactly.” Quatre began as he sighed deeply. Duo waited for him to continue, anxious to finally find out what happened. “When I left in search of Relena, she was sitting near your side. Hilde was waiting here when we finally came back. [Name] called me later that night, telling me she was sorry and to take care of you for her. She said … She said that she was leaving to sort out her thoughts.”

“Did she say when she would be back?” If he knew that, then he could wait for you to sort out your thoughts - whatever that meant. The silence that followed made his heart jump again. “What?” Duo questioned fearful of the answer.

“She said she didn’t think she would come back,” Quatre told him softly. 

Duo stilled as everything around him grew silent. Then … 

“What?! No! That …,” he trailed off again as he frowned in thought. After a few seconds of thinking, a stubborn look entered his eyes. “I’m going after her,” he exclaimed suddenly, pushing away the sheets. He tried to get up, only to have Heero push him down once more. 

“No, you’re not. You can go after her when your healthy again or when Sally gives you a green card.”

“But –”

“She asked us to take care of you, Duo. Even if she left, she cares deeply for you. Don’t do something that will harm yourself more in the end. She needed time, give her that and use that time to get better. We’ll even help you search for her after you’re better,” Quatre said and Duo could see the logic in it - even if he didn’t want to.

“You haven’t searched yet?” Duo questioned, surprised and more than a little angered by their lack of action.

“We have,” Heero began, only to frown as he looked away from his friend. It was easy to say that something was irritating Heero. “I lost her after L4,” Heero admitted gruffly. 

“What? You … You never lose someone! You can trace anyone!!” Duo exclaimed in surprise, anger, and sadness.

“When you’re better, you’ll get the address where I lost her. Someone made it clear that it was up to you to find her and bring her back – and I agree.”

“You let someone stop you with that pathetic an explanation?” Duo grumbled bitterly. 

“It’s not because of me she left,” Heero answered with a steel tone. 

Duo flinched.

“W-what?”

“Idiot,” Heero grumbled, upset that his friend was still acting foolish. “I told her a long time ago to follow her emotion, but she never did. Now she’s running from them, trying to move past them.” 

The others were silent once more, sadness clear in their stance. 

“She …?” Duo trailed off worriedly. He begged himself to be wrong, to not have had a chance and missed it. 

“She loves you,” Quatre said as he looked away.

It was clear to Duo then that they all knew. Everyone, except him. What a fool he’d been.

“F-for how long?” Duo questioned, his throat constricting from all the emotions running rampant in him.

“Almost as long as she knew you,” Heero supplied easily.

“Why didn’t she ever tell me this?” 

“Maybe that’s because you couldn’t stop talking about you and Hilde,” Heero answered as he frowned at Duo, clearly upset with the way he had made you suffer for such a long time. 

“She should’ve said something. I wouldn’t have been angry. I-I would have …,” he trailed of, unsure of his own answer. What would he have done?

“She didn’t say anything because even though love can be a glorious thing, it’s also something that makes you fear things,” Relena answered him, lost in her own memories. 

“Sometimes, being near someone is more than enough. Sometimes … Sometimes the fear of losing even their friendship is enough reason to keep quiet,” Quatre finished, a melancholic smile pulling his lips up.

“I will find her!” Duo stated resolutely after thinking about Quatre’s words.

“Duo,” Heero began to warn him, only to be interrupted himself. 

“I promise you, I won’t go after her before Sally gives me a green card - she would have my head if she ever knew I did such a thing. But when I leave, I _will_ find her!”

“And we will help,” Heero pledged solemnly. 

“Now I just need to heal quickly,” Duo sighed as he closed his eyes to rest. 

It took Duo days to finally be released from the hospital and another month before he was deemed fit enough to travel to outer space. He gazed at the shuttle that stood awaiting its passengers. He had waited for so long, but he refused to wait any longer. 

There was much that Duo needed to tell you and he would be damned if he let you spend another day by yourself without even trying to apologize and confess - all in one breath. He just hoped he wasn’t too late. 

“You just wait, [Name],” Duo whispered as he gazed at the sky. “I’m coming for you and this time, I’m not going to hold back what I’m feeling for you. Never again,” Duo pledged solemnly.

\-- change P.O.V. ----

Far away on L1, you shivered and felt as if something unexpected and dreadful was going to happen soon …


End file.
